As an element, Diana Prince has been eliminated from Wonder Woman’s world and brought back cyclically throughout the character’s history. Her name was actually imbued into the title during the ’70s Emma Peel-aping-powerless stint, to mixed reaction from critics all the way to the present. As I’ve stated before, I kind of dug it. DP actually started off kind of incredulously (consider the period) as a nurse who had an uncanny resemblance to the Princess of Paradise herself, who needed out of her station in life to go be with her family. The heroine took over her identity to be closer to her ailing would-be-beau Steve Trevor, recovering in the hospital from crash damage. Later in the period, Wonder Woman rescues Diana from her abusive husband, who WW helps reform from his anti-social ways. Diana gives up nursing to become Steve’s secretary so she can keep her perpetual dude-in-distress safe from his hobby of nearly getting himself killed. This vocation lasted until the Silver Age, when Di returned to nursing. She wound up a boutique owner in the aforementioned de-powered incarnation (!) in a rare instance of Amazon vanity. Upon her return, the series shortly moved back to WW2 to reflect the feel of the popular TV show. When canon returned to the present, she was back in the military and remained as such until the Crisis did her in. When she was rebuilt by Len Wein and George Perez, the secret ID vanished in total. William Messner-Loebs took over and in his debut, DP was a wealthy gadfly, which I thought was pretty fun. It only lasted a single issue, then vanished after WML got past his desire to make the title more of a superhero book. Her next comeback was the Allan Heinberg moment on the title, this time as an agent of the Department of Extranormal Operations. She was actually a powerless character here as well, due to a spell from Circe, who wanted to show the woman what it was like to be human. This concept remained until the New 52, where outside of her title, Superman talked her into the notion to give her a private life as of my last reading.
My issue in regards to the glasses wearing alter-ego is vocation. None of the above suit her in my opinion, because they don’t allow her the needed ability to disappear for any length of time without realistically losing her gig. Superman being a reporter allows him this liberty, and Batman has no schedule to maintain as a billionaire philanthropist. Some versions of the character establish her to be independently wealthy, falling back on a bag of gold from her mama which was actually a device originally employed by Marv Wolfman for her then-sister Wonder Girl to explain her lavish lifestyle. When that’s not in place, a girl’s gotta eat. That in mind, I think I have a potential solution for this pickle. Bear with me, because it may seem strange or outlandish when I say it, but I’ll give you some support to think it through. What if Diana Prince was to be… an ARTIST?
First, it’s a great field for someone to have who needs a lack of time accountability. Second, it’s a potentially interesting way to balance out the violent world she often inhabits. An outlet, if you will. Third, I would think sculpting, painting, etc. would show an image of a woman who grew up in a (formerly, anyway) cultured and advanced society. Fourth, it further demonstrates the inherent genius and versatility of the character. Lastly, I would say the core of the lady is quite liberal, as are a healthy majority of those in the field. She was a social reform supporter in her original vein, and in Perez’s tenure an ambassador of peace to ‘Man’s World’. I think sculpture especially would refer to her heritage quite well, and I think the gentle side of the character needs to be illustrated, and this could do it. Plus, eccentricity would be expected from the general public and I picture her at street level coming off as such.
As I go on about ad nauseum in this blog, I think core concepts should be creatively updated and kept. Strategizing and bringing new life should be the goal, in my mind. What do you think?
Save Diana Prince!
NO NEED TO CHANGE CLOTHES AND PUT ON GLASSES- YOU CAN COMMENT/COMPLAIN/PRAISE/DISCUSS JUST AS YOU ARE!
“I still buy [insert generic comic] every month, but I haven’t read an issue in forever.”
I’ve heard the above statement a hundred million times, and it never seems to go away. My pals in comic retail tell me they still hear it like bad pop music. We know about this, and so do the outsiders. The model comic-obsessive completist is our Steppin’ Fetchit, who takes his funny-books home, shoves ’em into a poly-bag with a board, then gingerly puts his buyings into a long-box and forklifts it into a tower in the basement while avoiding tearing his man-mou-mou. He’s on The Simpsons, all over youtube, and sits in the ethos. I have pals I love who straddle the fence, reading books that make my eyes bleed. They’re just peachy to me. I don’t attack them for their materials (I do engage in some shit-giving), because they LIKE what they’re reading, and who am I to judge? I’m more of an Uncle Tom reader myself. I hang with the folks who don’t know that comics are the greatest thing on earth, and the only thing worth fighting for. I wanna be invited to the parties, after all. Once there, I want to dash home and talk about, read and read about comics. OK, I kid. That said, I’m more interested in talking about the rabid collector who doesn’t actually interface with the product. Like I said, no actual judgement- it’s a victimless thing at first glance. What’s at play here is a situation that effects us all- bad voting, and the impact it has on comics overall.
Before I get into the wider damage, let me tell you about a pal of mine who died in our late ’20s. He was a collector of all things great and cool. Comics, magazines, vinyl LPs, CDs, art, coffee table books, vintage housewares- an ephemera wunderkind. He got really sick and stayed that way until he died nearly two years later with an actual window of problems that lasted more like five. His final year was horrid. He died a million ways before his heart stopped, at about a foot a day, with torturous moments of false recovery that never amounted to more than three days. Supporters brought him wrestling magazines, comics and stuff to keep him interested. He’d thank them graciously, and put on a happy face. It was a lie, and I knew it. He didn’t give a rat’s ass anymore about any of it. It might help waste five minutes, but there was not a trickle of joy in the offing after the fatal diagnosis. Too much to think about, feel, deal with, and endure for anything non-essential to matter. What focus he did have mentally went to the delusion of him getting better, even though everyone knew it was not in the cards. I sat with him a couple of nights a week for quite some time and we NEVER talked about any pop-minutiae. I knew he was away from it all. We spent a lot of time in silence as a result, because that was the tie that bound. When he finally went, there was a half-duplex full of treasures to be dealt with. On his mom’s order, I got about 20 friends together and we formed a line and went one-by-one picking out something we wanted and then back to the back and working ourselves up to the front again. Eventually, it just became a damned free for all. I gave up early, because suddenly after years of collecting it just seemed so moot. I no longer could figure out the goal, and there was no joy there. Two days after the affair, a yard sale happened an a For Rent sign went in the yard. I looked at the house, and it was a moment of clarifying truth- that’s all there is, that’s all you get.
The deep realization was that the empire falls when I do and very likely, well BEFORE. Even if I don’t have a terminal disease, it will likely fall from me before I go. If I spend years in declining health, my joy for everything will be greatly reduced. If I go in a nursing home, I won’t see that shit again. If I die suddenly, it’s just there for someone else to figure out what to do with. If I don’t have close loved ones, it’ll hit the auction block and go for a song. If I think I have young relatives who might care about them, they are likely not going to fill a house with my leftovers unless they are deeply passionate about them. Most folks aren’t going to have the time and energy to pilfer through my leavings to sort, post, collect, and mail them off for the money. I’m not going to go through the astringent process of having my books graded, unless they are spectacularly rare and 9/10s just aren’t and likely won’t ever be. With that logic, I started paring way down. I only kept things I really, really wanted to re-visit with frequency. Over the years, I’ve had lots of sales to keep things light. I’ve given longboxes to children in hopes they’d find some magic inside. My collection as it stands is now roughly forty books- trades and hardbacks- and if I find them not to be appealing, they go to a Half-Priced Bookstore and the credit goes for new ones. I accumulate comics and when I get to over a half-long-box, I find somewhere to fob them off. Part of my platform here is that I do not want to pay for space to hold inanimate objects that I do not use. I accept the fact that I can’t hold on to things because I just might get a wild hair to open them up once in how-ever-many years. The time going past without doing it outweighs the time spent doing it. Also, having an object for a long time steals the magic. It’s like hearing a great song you loved on the radio, and then purchasing it. After myriad listenings, the power is gone. When you just come up on it once in a blue moon, it’s still there. That’s why I like going to the library to re-read old fare that I can find. It’s like picking up a cool animal and petting it, then releasing it back into the wild.
All that said, I’m still not going to judge anyone else who wants to do it a different way. In fact, if everyone did what I chose to, there would be no comics at all, so please don’t if you don’t feel like it. You get one shot and if you want to spend it collecting like crazy, go for it and I truly hope you enjoy it. Enjoyment is the key factor here. It’s also rooted in my reason for finding the absolute form of the practice to be harmful to the overall comics community- it is nothing short of bad voting practice, and it chokes the life out of true comic lovers in the long run.
I read and see so much, and I take part in discussions that are essentially folks co-miserating about the current state of comics. We also spend time worrying about books we do love facing a certain chopping block. We are passionate about these things because we love them; as much as you can love something that is not living, breathing, or essential to living, anyway. People who joylessly show up at comic shops on Wednesday to fill the quota and the boxes are our anti-matter. They cast votes with their eyes closed and too often it goes into an undeserving slot. They fill up a file, empty it, add titles to it, and go home to process their purchases. I’ll step in here and interrupt my own platform to say that much deeper issues might need to be addressed as this points to addiction, which is not limited to substance abuse or such. Voids are obviously being filled by objects that will never satisfy the space of that hole. Change is an option, I’d like to point out. It might be difficult, but a success could result in contentment before death, and I think that sounds worthier than a mechanical existence, myself. Anyway, I can’t tell anyone what a good comic is, and no one else can either, it’s all conjecture. Why not though, ask the guy at the comic shop what’s not selling but in his humble opinion should be and buy that and stick it in a box? If somebody just has to blow some loot, why not move the money around? If they’re not going to read it, does it even matter? Who knows, maybe they’ll get home and feel an intrigue that’s obviously been missing and find something magical for the first time in years. Sounds a lot more potentially fulfilling to me, anyway.
If you’re doing anything that’s not tied to your livelihood or ability to exist and it’s not bringing you actual pleasure, do yourself (and others) a favor and make effort to stop. I can say with more than certainty that it will not harm nor kill you. It may be uncomfortable at first, but change just is. Any way you split it, life is too damned short to settle when you don’t have to. Drop the bag, drop the board, kick the box aside, close your eyes for a minute, open them and look in front of you and out the window. That is all you have, my friend, and it is all you ever really will, and ten seconds later, it’s gone. Save your life! Love what you live, read, and do!
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Shocking as this may sound, I’m really not reading comics these days. I do this blog, I run a group on Facebook, and I read tons of articles about them, and that’s where my time is being spent. I’ll dive back in assuredly, but the truth is I’m not missing them yet. I’m more into the objectification of the comics experience at the moment. I like hearing what folks have to say about the medium. I like to post things I have read and seen and observe what kinds of responses and perspectives they illicit. If something is new to me, I seek it out online and I usually find a bevy of info in seconds, and there’s also a lot of material from the actual pages to read as well. So, now I belong to a few social media comic groups, and they’re actually a great source of inspiration not only for blogging, but for new posts in my own group. This week, a phenom has hit more than one and captured my imagination like no other: The Bat-Cow.
She kind of hit me like a bolt from the blue. I heard the name a while back and thought it was some kind of one-off Morrison joke, then came the images by Frank Quitely and Ethan Von Sciver of the animal featured in the forthcoming Batman Incorporated special. I actually have read more than a bit of the Morrison Batman, and I quite like it. I’m not going to gush excessively about it, because I think enough people have done so. Before I could even gather my bearings, a couple of my groups blew up about it. Oddly, these folks are rabid anti-New 52 people. They were disgusted to say the least. Horrified, incensed, and offended at the very prospect. Even odder was how they lashed out at the popularity of the beast and blamed it on those New 52 loving stupid-heads. I was driven to research the Bat-Bovine to inform myself, and frankly, I’m kinda in love. I don’t want to draw out the explanation of the character ad nauseum (you can, though), so here’s the thumbnail: Batman and Robin (Damien) rescue a cow from a slaughterhouse who’s blood is tainted with a mind-control agent by Professor Pyg. Damien declares himself a vegetarian after the rescue, takes said cow as a pet then names her “Bat-Cow”. After his death, Batman sees her as a reminder of the childlike qualities of his taken-too-young son and his molecule of innocence. Yes, there’s some outlandishness with Bat-Cow being a tiny bit of a crimefighter. Here’s my question about the assault from the Anti-52ers- why on Earth is this notion bothering you so much? I mean, if you want Superman wearing undies over his pants with a belt, and have such an issue with the darkening of the DCU, why would a charming animal used in a title offend you? For me, this is a breath of fresh air. Totally.
My personal number-one complaint is that the forces behind New 52 seems to think I want some kind of reality in my books I’ve never asked for, and when I do want it, I want it done well and nuanced. I’ll take well-done but hokey over poorly done but realistic any day of the week. If you don’t have suspension of disbelief, you should NOT be buying DC Comics at all. Almost everything about the universe requires us all guzzling hogwash to some degree, and it always has. What I want is flight-of-fancy with METAPHOR. Show me reflections of truth peppered into the absurd. A dad awash with the angst of loss getting a reminder from a pet of what he lost is showing me heart and that’s a commodity that is largely gone in contemporary DC fare. In the ’90s, I had to read about menopause and anorexia in Wonder Woman. I could give a damn. Give me something about the trials and tribulations of women via a creative analogy and you’ve got my ears and eyes. Star Trek used alien cultures once a week to talk about what was happening to us in our spaces, and that my friend is art, pure and simple. If you want real world, then you can just walk out into it.
There have been a lot of opinions about where the newfound anti-fun, dark, and bloody Universe was born. It’s actually been around and coming for a while, in my opinion. The biggest vehicles were Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Identity Crisis, the Brad Metzer mini-series. DKR is a good book, for me anyway. It’s considered a masterpiece by many, and actually brought a new level of interest in it’s titular central figure. The problem is that too many have looked at the wrong elements to figure out what we wanted more of from it. Most of us didn’t love all the violence and abrasion as much as we loved the satire, nuances, and skewed nature of it. I didn’t want a bunch of blood soaked ass-kickings from superdudes, I wanted more books that had maverick visions from different stripes. I wanted art, not some derivation of the artist’s work. The result was a bunch of ugly, un-fun, anti-social, and pretty much generic garbage. As for Identity Crisis, I liked it too. It was an obvious attempt to snare the internal drama and humanization made famous by Marvel to inform and enrich the DC group. It made the JLA a big ol’ analogy for cop-drama (cop’s wife gets killed, other cops freak out, someone is threatening other cops’ families, criminal is kidnapped by rogue cops and dealt with by force, etc… ). Basically, they are officers without badges as far as the central crowd is concerned. Yes, I liked it. No, I didn’t want it to become a movement. This was about a soap opera, and it should’ve stayed as such, but it’s popularity drove it to be otherwise. Other titles got sucked in like wildfire ( Ed Brubaker’s entire amazing Catwoman story, for example, was undone in a single page, when we find out Zatanna had wiped the criminality out of Selina’s head which led to her change of station- anyone who read the defiled run knows that she never ‘went good’, she just went ‘not so bad’). Next came the avalanche of soap material- Infinite Crisis, 52, Countdown, Final Crisis, all the way up to Flashpoint. This is about readers, not executives. You bought it and you voted for it. You want dramatic, strife-filled crossovers where everyone’s crammed into the same universe? Take the DKR fall-out and marry it with this, and you gotcherself a New 52. Happy?
Back to The Battlin’ Bovine. So, here’s a lost aspect of innocence, an ugly word in today’s funny-books, that I’d love to see come back: the Super pet. Krypto, Streaky, Beppo, Comet, Ace, all of the above and more (one of my favorite abandoned concepts was from the other team wherein Lockjaw, the Inhumans’ giant teleporting bulldog decides the boring royal family are not giving him attention and decides he’s rather live with blue-eyed Benji in Dan Slott’s amazing Thing series- amazingly fun and warm). Ludicrous? Well, yes, no, and maybe. “How can we make a dog from another planet named after said planet coming to Earth seem realistic?”. Here’s a thought, since I pay you, why don’t YOU tell ME? Creative laziness is my most hated feature in the updated reality. If you’re too narrow-focused to make something unbelievable relevant and still fun, then why don’t you just pack your damn bags?
Good Dog of Steel, good dog!
Fire everyone. Yes, EVERYONE.
Seriously. I’ve thrown this up more times than I can count, but again it applies- did you READ All-Star Superman? Did you see past the pretty pictures to understand that EVERYTHING in that book was about non-sensical 1950s discarded Super-minutiae recycled into fun and boundless updated coolness? I know I’ve been accused of being a Morrison drone, and I couldn’t care less. This is exactly why I dig him. He doesn’t throw out what’s inconvenient- he works with it. He’s not scared or ashamed of antiquated elements at all. Everyone lately seems so damn terrified of being accused of not being serious enough. Every book doesn’t have to have this sort of whimsy. Other titles can be all about the soap opera and it’s trappings because they don’t all have to be sandwiched up against each other. There’s no reason they should have to jibe to the point that all titles involved get homogenized or neutered.
Back in the day, the late 80s- early 90s, I pretty much abandoned DC and Marvel for a while. Money got tight and I didn’t want to spend it on the stuff I was seeing anymore. That changed in ’93 when the comic adaptation of the legendary Batman the Animated Series came out. The Batman Adventures was everything I was missing but didn’t know I was. Since it was supposed to be a ‘kids title’, it made no bones about incredulous concepts. There were no explanations about quick costume changes, physics, or any of that stuff. It was bare-bones about it’s world; this is comics, PERIOD. It had metaphor and drama all over it. Not specific real-world disorders or the like, but mirrors of the human condition, viewed as Bats himself, and more often the villains. The bad-guys were not seen as misunderstood creatures most of the time, but there would always be a moment that gave them humanity and credibility. This was what kept me in the game, the fact that it had it all- great, simple art; done-in-one storytelling; embracing of all stripes of Batman stories- it was in there. It re-calibrated how I saw super-hero comics and their potential. It’s following title, The Superman Adventures, was at times even better. Mark Millar wrote a lot of issues and he managed to take a character so many creators whine about and show the limitless great storytelling angles you can approach this legend from. Same as TBA, the range was spectacular and I never got an issue I didn’t read repeatedly. THAT’S what I call good comics.
Final thoughts? I think ideas like this need to be seriously considered before demonization is unleashed. If you hate all the darkness and woe of the N52, you might want to hold back a sec. Do you hate it because it offends your sensibilities, or are you just mad at all things DC? Is it that you hate the concept, or the architect (in this case Grant Morrison)? Do you really want the old DC back, or do you really just want a different soap to read? I want options, myself. I should be able to have my cake and eat it too. Silly, serious, and sublime. I don’t see any reason to have all of my options under an umbrella of 52 titles; that’s just a number that references the title of a long-over comic and a multiverse that rarely plays into the books. I’m glad there’s at least one case where I can find something sweet, a little silly, and serious between one set of covers. Save Bat-Cow!
ADDENDUM: I could not have written this without the input of Dan Phillips, whom I had a lengthy discussion/argument/healthy conversation with via a FaceBook exchange with the day I wrote this. He and I don’t agree on everything (ESPECIALLY Grant Morrison), but any man who can make such a great statement about The Sex Pistols and Celine Dion when discussing art is ok in my book.
DON’T JUST SIT THERE EATING CUD- DISCUSS/ARGUE/PRAISE/LAMBAST THIS PIECE. I DON’T WANT ANYONE’S OPINIONS PUT OUT TO PASTURE.
“100% Customer Satisfaction” was the ethic I had to extoll, promote, and drive into the heads of roomfuls of folks for quite some time. I was a corporate trainer, hired into the field from management, and this was my job. Also, for a number of years I was a business owner, and I had to keep my supporters happy. I read books on service, observed it and analyzed it as a topic, and did everything I could to get my audience on board. It was fortified by a decade-plus time in the trenches in different versions of the industry. I will point out the elephant in the room right now; it’s too obvious not to. It’s all about the DC Comics, BUT it applies to other such companies, and seems to be on the decline in many other arenas. The idea seems to have been askew for a while when it comes to folks who publish comics who have forgotten their place in the social agreement. I’ve seen too much happen in the past couple of years that would lead me to make these observations. Publishers are NOT performers or entertainers and need to lose their egos and celebrity status and we need to stop treating them as such. I speak now to the actual parties this should be directed to:
Men and Women- You are involved in retail. You are customer service representatives, no more, no less. You hire creative individuals to produce a product your customer’s want. They should be trusted to do this, based on your information about what we are looking for. “The customer’s perception is YOUR reality”. You would seem to be expecting us to adapt to YOU, when the opposite should ALWAYS be the case. Stop telling us what we are going to love. Ask us what we would love. Listen to us, because we know. We can only provide the skeleton of it. We don’t have the answers as to how you do it, that’s YOUR job. You take our wants, then surprise us with the approach while giving us the un-forseen, and exceed our expectations. Service is not about adequacy. It’s about going beyond and ‘wowing’ the consumer. It is not our job to tell you how, it is your’s to figure it out. This ensures our loyalty and engagement, which should ALWAYS be your goal. That is the job of product creators, and again, it requires knowledgable craftspeople to make this happen. Also, if you do not treat them well, they will and do defect. They are your strongest asset in serving our needs and should be praised and rewarded for their good works, always. Your audience wants something artful, and we know when that’s not what we’re being given. People love fads for a while, but they burn out. Fashion lasts, and trendy properties are not exhibiting the level of quality to keep us invested.
We should be the first people looked and listened to when major changes are afoot. We should be consulted and polled. Are groups of us from different walks being brought in to assess the decisions and give feedback? Where is the ‘comment card’, here? I would think bloggers and such would be your consultants. We have our fingers on the pulse with the research we do, our passion for the subject, and the opinions we receive. Does anyone do ‘mystery shopping’, a common retail practice, or the like? In your case, I would think someone would visit large venues like Midtown Comics in Manhattan to hear first hand what the people keeping roofs over your heads are saying about your product, taking good notes, and reporting the findings back to management who should be all-ears.
Pop-culture fans are not one lump. Every group is varied from the other. Do not assess the potential of your product on other fare that does not equate. Every group has it’s loyalists and fans, many of whom are already getting the element they are looking for with their prime choice. Alienating your base to pursue another based on their past purchases that are not translations of what you offer will rarely lead to a pay-off to offset your losses. In tandem, when a direct competitor in the same market achieves quantifiable successes, observe the elements. Do not pursue items that would defeat what makes you unique, but embrace what can be adopted and enrich the experience of your customers.
Do not take your products and bundle them if they are not the same type of product. With creative products as the commodity, some people will not like some of your offerings, where others may. Don’t try to tie them all together if it diffuses the potency of either product. Every product should be offered as an individual unit, and only concepts that are adjacent and complimentary merge well. Diversify, and don’t put too many eggs in one basket. Don’t hold one particular facet to be of a certain advertised number of products. Several lines would be optimal, instead of one big one with tiny satellite services; the latter is a faulty model. A quality offering of many venues allows your consumers to make better and wider choices. Feeding everyone from the same pool is foolhardy and treats in-equals as equals. We would rather have 10 great choices in a vein than 50+ mediocre ones with limited alternatives. This goes to the statements earlier about gauging our desires for what we want. We get accused as consumers of not knowing what we want, and I will say that’s a half truth. It’s up to you to figure out conquering the divide. Giving us more lines is a great way to address this, and I would say there is a likelihood that many will opt to pursue more than just one of these groups, if they are done well.
Recognize the customer’s sphere of purchases, and your role in their lives. You are not providing a necessity. You do nothing for the livelihood of your purchasers. Your offerings are elective, 100%. That is why losing their support is a constant concern, especially in economically disparaging times. Our dollars are votes, and angling for that is most wise.
Working under money-folk who do not understand the nature of the customer is frustrating. They somehow need to be made to understand that sales-bumps have a low on the other side, and stringing us with gimmicks will not work. Consistently good product will give better sales for much longer times. Gimmicks have been shown to be successful in the past for short bursts, and companies have gone almost a full decade trying to climb back from the fall-out. Also, ventures that were too big to fail 20 years ago are not around today and are a footnote in the industry. Conversely, look at what has worked if you need to quantify it for your superiors. Observe how many products from the past have not only stood the test of time, but have been re-presented in various formats, media, and are part of broad discussions about other aspects of culture. Past work has been so sought out that it appears in places that don’t even carry your base product. That is quantifiable, and shows an asset that still pans out. Also, those commodities reach new consumers, not just old ones. If you observe fashion over fad, it’s easy to see that it’s timeless nature feeds itself indefinitely.
Internally, there is a double-edged sword to veteran employees. Wizened, tenured folks who can objectify what’s happening and make observations based on cycles they’ve witnessed are a gold-worthy asset. Jaded, self-important senior members can kill a business. If someone is convinced they are indispensable due to former glories that are no longer relevant and they are bringing no refreshing insights to their less-tenured peers, they must be shown the door, and replaced with folks who are enthusiastic and energized about the field they are pursuing. Dinosaurs kill morale and are often more stuck on ego than pleasing customers. Fresh, optimistic eyes are great for growth, especially when they are focused on the contentment of their public. Sentimentalism shouldn’t be a welcome practice in business management, loyalty for services rendered are great until the fault becomes apparent.
For an analogy of the current state of affairs, observe Coke vs. Coke Classic. Coca-Cola changed their formula, and their public was very unhappy. They brought out “Coke Classic” to appease the decrying masses. It worked exponentially. The lesson was not only learned, but it brought them great success; more than they’d had before, in fact. Giving the crowd what they really want is ultimately what you should be after. Lastly, ‘Fess up when you mess up’. Apologies will instill loyalty, especially when they carry concessions. Tell me when something didn’t work and the ball was dropped. Don’t make excuses, but offer sincere perspective-offering explanations, and do not pass any blame. Then, give me a token to show me you still want my business, and I will gladly attempt to reconcile and support your business again.
Save yourselves, DC- and win us all back!
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“This country is run by asshole lawyers, and it’s citizens have become half-assed paralegals”- Me.
How does that statement translate into comic books? It does, as it trickles down to every aspect of culture and has become the dangerous norm. We have become super-glued to ideologies in every corner. I belong to a political group on FaceBook, and I can only go there about once a week lest I should stay apoplectic. I’m a centrist who picks and chooses from every camp what I think is relevant and what’s hogwash. I’ve been called a socialist, a right winger, a racist, a race-baiter, a liberal, and a fanatic on the same page and some of these instances have been from people who totally agreed with me the last time we were threaded together. It’s a dubious honor, to say the least. Everyone seems to fear that any microscopic change in any area of their beliefs, even when totally shut down with cited facts and records, equals total defection from their group to it’s opposite. That keeps any progress from happening and reinforces our polarity problem. We’ve been taught by the powers that be that it’s good vs. evil, and remember, these are lawyers, taught to fight and win at ALL costs. Adhering to the entire platform is usually going to involve swallowing a lie, or becoming hypocritical to that person’s deeper held beliefs.
This sad state is something I see every day in comic communities. Opinions are great, and should always be considered. Corrections are fine too, if done politely. What I’m seeing more and more of is total dismissal of all of the above, and the manners that should go with them. I had to stop reading articles from sites like Newsarama and Comic Book Resources. I enjoy a lot of things from both, but as soon as I see them in my feed the comments I see are usually just pure venom, and if I click the reply button, I see even worse. I had to form my own comic group to avoid it. I want to talk about something I love with others who do the same. My guidelines are clear in regards to snark, trolling, and personal attacks (the last refuge of an argument loser). Yes, we get heated and passionate, but the line is seldom if ever crossed. Anyone being genuinely attacking of another member personally= immediate expulsion. Therein are some who are glued to a side that won’t let go for dear life. I’ve presented postings to more than one group, and had people attack it in seconds of it’s appearance, showing me they didn’t even read what I said. It’s further evidenced by the fact that their response is actually tackled in the piece. They’re not using my words and presenting a case against them, they’re arguing the impetus for them. This is what I’m talking about. No one is listening in a lot of cases, they just want to slam down a heavy handed (and sometimes very flimsy) POV that’s not even an opinion any more, it’s a platform. Worse, slamming someone for merely liking something happens too, a thing that really can’t be argued against. What’s bad is, it’s going full blown and we are ALL fostering it in these situations.
People are getting DEATH THREATS for comic related issues. Dan Slott, Ben Affleck, and Marguerite Bennet have all been targets in recent times. I don’t like Bennet’s interpretation of Lobo, but it’s hers and I merely disagree with it. I promise you, I don’t wish her a second of hardship or pain; I don’t even KNOW this person, and I certainly wouldn’t risk incarceration to scare her. People are risking their own freedom over COMIC BOOKS. This is some sick and serious stuff, right here. I work in mental health and I can say that this is possibly related, but not conclusively. It might be a component of borderline personality, bipolar disorder, or the like, OR it could be the product of a life poorly spent. I’m not at all saying comics are a waste of time, obviously. I just don’t think they should be the crux of anyone’s existence. They are designed for leisure, a hobby, if you will. I’ve known people who’ve boxed themselves in with TV, comics and the like to avoid the world. It’s an option, but it rarely leads to anything more than despair. We need to socialize and be a part of something bigger. These sad souls are not, I’d wager.
I place some of the blame on all of us, and our fusing with social media. I’m a big ol’ sheep, no denying it. The main danger of the beast is the fact that too many people are afraid that if they don’t respond to something in a nano-second, they will be lost. Buried in a thread, the poster leaving, someone else speaking up before them and potentially making the point before they do, etc. all make for thoughtless and knee-jerky reactions. If something blasts at me in a thread or post, I tend to walk away and meditate on it. Why does it bother me? Is it important? Do I really even disagree, or did it push my buttons because it spoke a fearful truth to me? I’ve actually confessed to myself and the inciter when this has occurred. I’d rather ‘fess up than live with a lie. This type of immediate and thoughtless banter is what fuels unnecessary rage and ire. Everyone’s a fighter when they don’t have to look at the enemy in the eye. Keyboards and satellites make everyone a cushion of bravado. That said, we are reaching a disgusting level of deceitful outrage and we’re seeing a repugnant outgrowth. I rant a lot on this blog, but I promise you, I’m not enraged to the capacity that it ever interferes with anything else, sleep included. After all, we’re discussing lines on paper and moving pictures, damn it. At the end of the day, that’s it.
Are you finding yourself losing sleep over comics and movies? Are you getting so worked up you can’t focus on, or even cultivate real life things? Do you wish you could actually hurt or do harm to people you don’t even know over pop culture? Then STOP. NOW. Step away and re-calibrate. Seriously, get help. Try going for a long walk and shutting down your thoughts; put on a set of earbuds if it helps. Consider going on a fast. No social media or comic reading for a while. I’ve done this before, and it’s refreshing. You might even find you don’t really miss them, and there are other things that stimulate you in a way you’ve lost touch with, and that is okay. I’ve done it and came back much later with new fervor. A cold, hard fact of life is that when you face real tragedy or the imminent threat of your own life ending, comics will probably vanish from importance in your life, and you need to be aware of that. I doubt anyone reading this is at the brink of death threats, but we all have a hand in this. Like every other body, we have a lunatic fringe. When we get so vitriolic, we further rile them. I see it happen in political situations often, where an objective argument starts drawing a lynch-mob mentality by the end. When someone starts going in a threatening direction on a digital platform, an administrator should be notified like quick-fast.
Comic nerds and pop-geeks are already burdened with a stigmatic image. I hate it that people who don’t know me think I weigh-in at 400 lbs., wear sewn together bedsheets, and live in a dark basement. This whole broad affair is dragging us down further. We need to do all we can and not help it manifest more. If you see yourself making hateful comments or arguing excessively, STEP BACK and think before you say. You can always tag your target later, when you’re cooler and have a logical argument with a sound platform. If you don’t have one, just sit this one out. No one has to horn in on everything and be the voice of dissent. If someone says something you don’t like at first, then decide they have a point, let them know- that’s inciting positive CHANGE and being a role model. We need that, trust me. Free the Nerds!!!
DON’T BAG AND BOX YOUR FEELINGS- COMMENT/COMPLAIN/DISCUSS. I LIKE TO GAB WITH MY READERS. THANKS!
What is beauty or attractiveness? Is it what we see on magazine covers, or is it what we feel? Is attraction based on what we see or what we hold on a deeper level? Is it learned or innate? I would say we live in a world of nurture working to override nature. The principle, in heterosexual terms, that dictates the attraction from the male is the capacity for child bearing. The image of the razor thin gal is, in my opinion, one that’s been perpetuated largely by women themselves. It became an element of fashion in the ’60s and has unnecessarily imprisoned and beat down women to the street level ever since. It has even fostered potentially fatal mental disorders which is the writing on the wall. I’ve talked to a myriad of men who will tell you up-front that they love a curvy kinda woman and don’t mind some extra meat. I know lots of women who have that same attraction. With the guys, it’s in their genetic imperative. Culturally we have largely accepted the notion of skinny/thin/buff = beauty, even though a scan of ancient art that’s connected to our unaffected concept for the opposite shows the facade, and that statement prevailed in art for a massive part of our world history. Yet, we live to abolish it still.
In comics, exaggerated beauty has always been the name of the game. Undeniably because that’s what the public largely wants, not relegated to just the male majority of readers. It’s at times a little girl fantasy as well as the other demographics. Men in comics are typically the same, with very rare exception. I only know of two series- Harbinger and Spellbinder- that ever had a woman of size as a seriously done front runner with no joke in the dynamic. I doubt that will ever change, sorry to say. I don’t think an overweight man stands much of a chance either, so it’s not really a misogynist issue expressly. That said, there is still a place for women (and men) of size in sequential art/lit. There is also a double standard in place. No one wants Harvey Bullock, The Kingpin, and The Penguin to ever be sexualized via weight change. Never gonna happen, folks. Conversely, the same cannot be said of the distaff figures.
Amanda Waller burst onto the scene in John Byrne’s Legends mini-series crossover DC title in the late 1980s. Her opening appearance was, to me, stellar. The hard-edged idealistically old-school Col. Rick Flagg walks into her office to meet and is ready for conflict. His facial expression is priceless. This short, overweight BLACK woman comes marching up to him and proceeds to own his machismo-driven ass in a nano-second. From that panel on, she is a big bad chess player, totally unstoppable in the mythos of the whole line. In Suicide Squad under the writing of John Ostrander, she is the grand dame. She is on a mission that runs to her marrow. She wants the metahuman/vigilante scene in check and she is not going to sleep until it’s micromanaged by real, true folk. Several of the criminals under her thumb attempt rebellion, and are met with epic failure. She covers the world and goes all the way to Apokolips itself when innocents are in peril. She even looks down on Batman to his face without a quiver to be had. When the game appears to be rigged, it usually turns out that Waller is the puppet-master. Her intel contains secret identities and deeply guarded facts about all parties concerned. The Secret Six turn out to be nothing but pawns to her to their collective dismay. She makes compromises for the greater good, when faced with larger problems than criminals. Proud, but not overly prideful. This is a heroine. Brave and fighting what she considers to be a good fight.
Now, she’s fundamentally the same type, but looks pretty much like Halle Barry. Am I ok with keeping her persona in line with that one change? Nope. Here’s why: my Amanda had no time, and no interest to look like Halle. She was too busy for a trip to the gym. She was too busy to care what her clothes looked like. She had much more important things to do than date or fall in love. She had buried her husband and was done with such. She was the pit-bull of the whole shebang whose personal needs were not ever part of the equation. The new version has a visual image that defies the whole concept of the character, and trappings that trample all over it. Vanity is an affront to her fictional soul. The badassed hottie is intrinsic at this point in comics, and this piece of the puzzle does NOT fit that board at all. This move on the part of Creative is so wrong on so many levels. This kind of woman exists in reality. Met her more than once. Too devoted and invested to play the games others play. Amanda’s appearance gave her character and was never the butt of any joke. Naturally, we see the shame in the impetus. “Who wants to look at fat chicks?” is smeared all over this move, probably by higher ups who loathe comics, but have been handed a necessary evil. In nearly 30 years with her image on the scene, I NEVER heard anyone say they just wish she’d lose some weight. Not ever. Between her and the ridiculously un-fun and whorish Harley Quinn I was done with the Suicide relaunch before the first arc saw it’s finale.
Etta Candy is another victim of the slight, and it’s been death by inches. If you don’t know, her story is rooted in the 1940s. She was Wonder Woman and Diana Prince’s gal pal. Like Waller, she was diminutive in stature but large in personality; very Balsak-Napolean, but female. She was a loud-mouthed Texan who loved getting in the fray with her heroine chum and never exhibited fear. Cartoonish, no doubt with her “Woo-woo-woo” trademark line and such, but all of the characters were exaggerated archetypes to some degree given the times. She was often comic relief, but not really insultingly so. She was a great complimentary foil to the central figure. Di worried about her friend, but Etta didn’t care a lick. She was going to eat her candy (yes, kinda hokey with her name and all, but all characters are depending on your level of scrutiny), and do as she damn well pleased. Etta was fundamentally asexual, but she was not at all above having a good time. In fact, life was pretty much an adventurous buffet to her sensibilities. In the decades that followed, every image of Candy was a bit taller and a bit thinner. By the ’80s she had slimmed down substantially by choice and was dating a fellow named Howard. In the Perez reboot, she was a tad chubby and wound up being the wife of an advanced age Steve Trevor. Later still, she slims way down and William Messner-Loebs sucks every trace of fun out of her by making her a victim of anorexia, driven by an internal competition with Diana. She was a goner. Alan Heinberg attempted to bring back some of her roots in his brief tenure as Di’s pistol packing, secrets-keeping compatriot at the Department of Extranormal Affairs. After his exit, she pretty much vanishes with the glaring exception of Grant Morrison’s revamp in Seven Soldiers, where we re-meet her as a morbidly obese therapy group leader for those adversely affected by the Meta-human community. Mixed feelings were elicited by me. I liked the fact that her skinnier image was shelved, but I didn’t care for her as a victim. She, in root essence, was the opposite of such. It could be argued that she had an addiction, I suppose, but if you’re going to suck out the silliness of the character germ, I’d say just abandon the candy and lose the silly connection to her surname. In the generally well-done WW Animated Movie, Etta is a sexy blonde who’s tooling for Steve Trevor’s lust. Along comes (you guessed it) the New 52, with a thin, black Etta, pretty much a secretary to Steve Trevor. OK, you know my feelings about her weight, but here’s where some may think I’m socially regressive. I assure you that’s not the case. I don’t like the changing of ethnicities in comic characters, not at all. I’m fine with new people assuming the costumed IDs of established characters, but not the people themselves. I want NEW minority characters, period. This is just lazy tokenism. This move was actually an obvious attempt to make her an adaptation of the TV version from David Kelly’s failed WW pilot, played by Tracie Thoms, an actress I actually like. I didn’t care for the switch there either. If someone wanted a black character, why not just invent one? There were new characters in play that did not require being caucasian. That’s all about that angle. My foremost ire is the body image and it’s implication that we only desire svelte characters.
How do you adapt a classic character like Etta, and ditch the anachronism? Writer-artist Ben Caldwell tackled it succinctly in his Wednesday Comics WW strip. He made her a modern girl with a punk-rock bend which suited her masterfully and gave her back her fun. She’s not hanging out with Di as an acolyte- she’s catching the fall-out with zest. In her best scene, to my mind, ever, he has her beating the crap out of a zombie horde with an infectious smiling glee. She’s us doing what we wish we could do. This is a rejoinder to her early image- Etta ever took a stab at whooping up on The Cheetah, even, and this time her moxie is met with a hip, modern bend. I see Etta as a perfect fit for a Roller Derby girl. They tend to be formidable, fun/adventure loving young women who embrace the sensibilities of Punk. Her posse of Holiday Girls would fare well as a Derby team, and foot-soldiers to Diana, being what the classic Newsboy Legion were to their local hero, The Guardian. Again, forward thinking doesn’t have to corrupt the seed of the character, and can even embellish it if done right.
What rankles me the hardest is the denial of desirability by readers and observers. I know quite a few guys (and gals) who would trip over themselves over real-world women like both of these. Strong, opinionated, even bossy women are sought after by certain types of guys. Powerful women are seductive to the unafraid. Besides, who wants a world of people who look like models, anyway?? Comics are escapist, and sometimes the escape is not just from what we see on the mean streets, but what we are barraged with in our trash-addicted and sad pop scene. A lot of comic readers are quite intellectual and come there for creativity and art, so absent from what’s thrown in their faces. Reality TV, flaccid magazine covers, over the top action films where people in battle wear hair gel and lipstick are not what a lot of consumers want to see. Further, the people who want that tripe are likely to never actually buy a comic, as it involves READING. Look at the success of Melissa McCarthy, one of the freshest and most sought-after performers in the country, or Adele even. Major successes and both are beautiful, potent female figures who are raking in awards and accolades. McCarthy is a strong analogy to Etta and her verbose and unstoppable nature. This same kind of conceit has even started to bleed over to men. Lobo, who was introduced as a joke directed at psychopathic ‘heroes’ was a gruff, rough and tumble statement about all things macho. This very week, he was unveiled as a svelte, visually metrosexual hit-man from space. Who wanted THAT? A lot of people (points at self) find guys who aren’t swimmer-like in physique to be sexy and lacking in vanity, an attribute that many find to be a turn-off. I’ve yet to see a single endorsement of the change by fans or critics.
I want flavor in my books, not far-sighted visions of social standards of attraction. I don’t think this is what anyone’s clamoring for except, again, artless number crunchers. This is another issue where voting counts. Make sure you at least TRY to make your voice heard. Don’t just hold out on buying titles or ranting on social media. Look up contacts. There are some at the bottom of this post. There is also a new one at the bottom of what you’re reading. Step to it. Save Etta! Save Amanda! SAVE LOBO!!
Before I even start, I want to make something abundantly clear about this piece. I am not in anyway accusing anyone of being the least bit racist at all. To me, that is one SERIOUS word. I consider it an epithet, and if applied it had BETTER be defensible, cited by evidence, and used with total caution. This is about tunnel vision only. Thank you, and read on.
Sometimes, the myopia of comic companies, their overlord entities, and their creative partners are more compelling mysteries than Batman could ever dream of. This is about one of those situations, and the deeper mystique/conundrum concerning the trappings of the situation itself. As you probably already know, especially if the title there made you intrigued, there was this character named Cassandra Cain, and for a while she was Batgirl. She showed up during the epic “No Man’s Land” storyline in the Bat-books where Gotham City is sealed off and abandoned by the whole country as an unsalvageable hell-hole after a massive earthquake. Cassandra arrives, and ends up becoming a Batman approved operative. In a short time she gets her own title. I’m more than a casual Batgirl enthusiast historically. I picked it up at issue one, and stuck with it until the initial creative team split after two years. She was an interesting girl to say the least. Raised by her dad, David Cain, a ruthless world-class assassin in solitude, never spoken to, or heard from, to be the most focused member of her dad’s trade ever. Her mother that she didn’t know was the infamous Lady Shiva, considered to be the world’s deadliest woman and maybe human. She was slowly learning language and the combined Batman and Babs Gordon were trying to overcome her deep-rooted killer indoctrination. She could predict her opponent’s next move and never lost a fight. She had killed before, and was ashamed and trying to make up for it, sometimes to a death-wish degree. She was obviously Asian, a rarity in the DCU and unheard of in the Bat-camp. To be honest, I loved her as a character, just not as Batgirl. Her full-faced mask was a trendy turn-off to me. She was also too dark and complex for that particular identity. She palled around with Stephanie Brown, The Spoiler, and she was my pick for the successor to Babs from her first appearance in the title. She had the spunk and endearing charm I wanted in the role. After she quit the job, due to Batman’s apparent demise in Final Crisis, she gave the name over to Stephanie, and I was more than ok with that. However, I didn’t want the baby thrown out with the bathwater. Cassandra actually becomes a heavy for a bit, a move that enraged throngs of fans, and winds up with a whole new identity as part of the resurrected Bruce Wayne’s Batman, Incorporated. Her new moniker is the Black Bat, based out of Hong Kong, with her old costume no longer brought down with the face covering cowl but a ’60’s TV Catwoman-style mask instead. I rejoiced at the wisdom of this decision. Brilliant, all the way. Next (wait for it…) came the New 52, and *poof!* she’s gone.
There was another character introduced to the Bat-camp in the wake of this new venue. His name is Batwing. His secret ID was David Zavimbe, an African national, who is a member of the ‘Inc.’ crew. As stated, he lives in the Dark Continent, and he gets a series that debuts with the first wave of the New 52, as well as a position on the doomed JLI title. David lasts 19 issues before he’s out of the title. JLI lasts until the release of it’s first annual, well under the other book and Batwing hangs up the name 7 months later. He is replaced by Luke Fox, son of Lucius Fox, Bruce’s business associate for over 25 years. With heavier ties to the Bat-world proper, it’s obvious that the batty fans need an anchored character. His title continues with rocky sales to this day. He’s stationed in the Congo, once more fighting the good fight. Here’s my question: why is this character getting the special treatment and Cassandra is off the map? I appreciate the effort and all, but isn’t the Black Bat a hell of a lot more logical as a title-holder? I mean, first off let me be brutally honest and I hope I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings or sensibilities, but I think Hong Kong is a much more exciting mine of potential than Africa. Just do. It’s a vast city with a dense population that I’ve never seen explored in comics, unlike the African locales, which have existed in sequential art since the 1930s. Also, why take a random pick from BI, when you have a beloved and established character in the mix, whose ties to the central Bat-cast are in place? It just seems like such a no-brainer to me. Plus, look at the critical/fan success of Batgirl and Batwoman- people like a woman in a bat suit, apparently (especially when the art and story are great, obvs…). This is one of those true mysteries I was referring to. Maybe down the line someone in the power seat will figure that one out. Vague comments have been made at ‘Cons about her return, but no details over 2 years into the current vein.
Characters of different cultures, ethnicities, and locales have always been an issue in comics. For one, most writers are either from the US or England. The latter might tend to do a better job because of the international mix (particularly to Londoners), and the lively mixture that is Europe in general. Plus, readers are an issue here as well. Projects involving such are extremely varied in reception, and rarely that successful. Black Panther (I hate that name, BTW- it’s from a time when every character of color was “Black” something AND it denotes a militant political stance. “The Panther” would be fine, and would make him more accessible to multi-media), Mister Terrific, Justice League International, Milestone Comics, Static Shock, and Batgirl herself are all in that umbrella and went under the axe. Most folk want to stay on their home turf so they can identify with the title; it’s their comfort zone, and often, their only point of reference. My first multicultural exposure was in the Super Friends cartoon-to-comic adaptation with the Global Guardians, who wound up going mainstream and giving us Fire and Ice, most notably, as well as a handful of other characters, a lot of whom wound up in the pages of the ingenious JLI title of the ’80s-’90s. I was enchanted with them from the get-go. They were exotic and cool in concept. I was thrilled when they made the jump (Little Mermaid getting her head blown off really freaked me out, though). I didn’t pursue the latter day JLI title because I felt kind of “been there, done that” about it. The Giffen-DeMatteis run pretty much put the period at the end of the sentence for me. I’d just love a well-done series about Fire and Ice, Tasmanian Devil (a gay character, no less), and a whole lot more. There are also lots of other worldly locales I’d like to see in the books. Night and Squire was a great little mini-series about the eccentricities of superhero London. It can be done. Morrison, in particular, has tried to integrate the rest of the world into the DCU proper, and none of it has been seen so far to stick. The Japanese group the Great Ten was a fun ensemble of his making, followed by the Super Young Team, who exited me greatly when the pre-series released notebook of Final Crisis was received. It was a great reflection of Japan’s pop culture, which often takes our domestic concepts, then filters and reworks them into something different, and sometimes magical. Each member is a translation (but not at all literal) of US super-folk. Most Excellent Superbat (Heino) is the team leader. He wears a wild red and yellow uniform influenced by both Superman and Batman. His power, as stated is “being rich”, and he uses an array of gadgets, one of which can generate an energy-based exoskeleton, he also appears to have some training in the martial arts. He is joined by Big Atomic Lantern Boy, Shy Crazy Lolita Canary, Shiny Happy Amazon, Well-Spoken Sonic Lightning Flash, and Sunny Sumo. This pack are a gas, who become big celebrities in their home and suffer for their notoriety. They had a mini-series, and in common with most of the titles presented here, it was not a success. I wish they’d come back, but I have a feeling that’s not going to happen.
I don’t know what the solution is to getting invested readership for these kinds of titles. I realize a majority of comic readers are white (more ethnic minorities do seem to be getting into the act I’ve noticed-that’s a good thing), I know a healthy amount of the followers of this site are all over the world, too. Maybe there’s hope for the concepts, and hopefully they will be done well and stand the test of time. I really hope the Universes can move away from just White America, and get support.
I still think the Black Bat of Hong Kong is undeniably a good and sound idea, and I hope someone figures that out and brings it to fruition. It’s been so long, and a lot of miss our favorite quiet assassin. Save Cassandra Cain!
The first image was from http://jbramx2.deviantart.com/, and the bottom photo was taken by http://s3.photobucket.com/user/dstorres/profile/. Both are Bat-Badassed.
CASSANDRA’S THE QUIET TYPE, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE. LEAVE ME COMMENTS/COMPLAINTS/FEEDBACK. I DIG IT!
This here is a Donna Troy revamp that Ian Churchill drew up for the last “Titans” run. The rename was “Olympia”. It’s waaaay too busy, but I still appreciate the sentiment, and it’s homage to her big sister. I would’ve liked a toned-down version to see in action. Take the bottom half and make it black (slight homage to Troia there), take those “O”s off the boots and you got a winner.
Now she doesn’t even exist. Who’d want to be adopted by baby-killing savage Amazons anyway?? Lotsa folks want Donna (and many others) returned to the scene. For me, if there’s no organic connection to Diana, I couldn’t care less. It didn’t work after the ’86 Crisis when they tried that. She just became a brunette named Donna and fans lost interest. She wound up powerless, came back as a Darkstar to no success, and then John Byrne re-empowered her and made her a ‘soul sister’ to Wonder Woman, as well as a cast member and she was back with game. <Special thanks to Vince, Power Guy over at the Hall of Justice for the image.> Save Donna Troy!
LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, OR ANY, PIECE I POST HERE. I LOVE FEEDBACK OF ALL SORTS. HOLA!
I originally did a post about this subject that was actually a bit hasty and not so thought out. I got a great single criticism for it, and when I delved into the respondent’s comments I realized that I wasn’t really looking at the situation with total self-honesty. That’s why I gave it a total re-write with a more fully realized take on the matter.
Who would you choose to give your love to if you were Superman? Would you pick Lois Lane, Wonder Woman, or neither? I’m just saying neither because it’s always an option, but it’s probably not one that’s going to be offered. In simpler times, it was examined ad nauseum. Lori Lemaris, Lana Lang, Luma Lynai, and every other girl who initialed her documents like Lex Luthor (I left out Barda, who he made a porno flick with. He was under mind-control then) got an issues worth of wooing. These days, it always boils down the former two. On the one hand, there’s Lois, the first and foremost. You know her, but here’s a sketch in case you were looking for a way back to your lost world online and Googled the word alien and ended up here: Earth woman, very assertive and empowered, diligent reporter who is very interested in seeking out and exposing truth at any cost, fearless, apparently pretty attractive, and is portrayed in most cases as being very balanced in terms of anima/animus. Wonder Woman? Depends on canon, so let’s go with a composite: Somewhat otherworldly, very assertive and empowered, diligent fighter, crusader for truth, gorgeous, very balanced in terms of anima/animus, not very likely to get killed by anything less than cosmic-level threat, wears costume and belongs to team of other superheroes that he belongs to as well. Well, I actually don’t have an answer I like when I look at it that way. Not the one I want to give, anyhow.
What do I want the answer to be? Lois OR neither. What I’m not into is Clark and Diana. Not NOW anyway. I was, back in 1988 when Action Comics #600 came out. The story is classic. After a few months of buildup, the two finally meet through parties close to the lady who contact Clark Kent, and task him with setting up a rendezvous. They meet at night in a private spot and immediately, they lock in a passionate embrace and kiss. This actually takes place before the issue, and when we open the cover to the actual book in question, we see a look of wide-eyed horror on Di’s face. Not good. Darkseid shows up and rudely interrupts their date and when it resumes the consensus is that he’s a doey-eyed farmer boy and she’s a nigh-goddess member of royalty and that a romance would be Super-ficial. Done. I, as a hormonally led teeny bopper was almost apoplectic. They gave up THAT easy? Not even a second date?? I felt robbed. The main reason for my zeal was how enthused I was about both of these characters. It was a brave new world then. Supes was a year into the classic John Byrne revamp, with Diana the same but with George Perez. They were exciting times, and I wanted even more excitement. There was Lois in the background, fairly devastated, and I did feel sorry for her, no doubt. Still, I thought a year of this at least could be smashing fun. Throughout the canon thereafter, the specter was there, stronger and lesser depending on the time, but never quite gone. I had some hope throughout and it morphed into incredulousness. Clark married Lois in two venues of media, and it STILL bugged me. She just seemed like the right choice and no one wanted to admit it. The creative decision concerning the pair was that they would become very best friends. This only happened, of course, when it was in HER book. External to that, it was either Bats or Jimmy or whoever. Still just seemed like a way to side-step something so damned obvious; in fact, bursting at the seams. In one storyline, the JLA winds up trapped on Asgard for a THOUSAND years. He’s with her the whole time, and nothing happens at all. They return at the time on Earth that they left, and he tells Mrs. Kent nothing. She finds out from Di, who proceeds to tell her that for that whole 10 centuries, he never stopped talking about Lois. Sweet? Sure. I loathe that story just the same. See, I want my Superman human, and given that we KNEW he was attracted to the princess, it made him seem ridiculous. Further, who would even want to be loved THAT hard? I mean, it’s easy to say, but if your partner was trapped somewhere for a thousand years would you not be wigged out by the fact that they never stopped blabbing about you, or didn’t stray with arguably the most attractive person alive, as beautiful as Aphrodite? I’d have to say I appreciate the gesture, but that doesn’t even seem right or righteous. Pragmatic little me, I guess. Diana had even stated that she was a know-nothing fool when she shunned him for being a hick. Again, super-human is fine, inhuman is another affair altogether.
So what’s my beef with the joining finally taking place? I’m not as much angry as I am apathetic, where the two central figures are concerned. I gave them a year to wow me. I went in with the excitement I had back around ’87, to be honest. I was ready for a new golden dawn, and was frankly getting bored with the DC Universe in general. So many Crises, an erratic, constantly re-tooled JLA, JSA was not the same after Johns left, Wonder Woman was rutted to distraction, and it needed to go fresh. Others whined when the news came out, but not me. I was totally the cheerleader. I finished my first issues with some hope and some concerns. I gave it a year, then I just decided I wasn’t into it at all, for reasons I can’t begin to cover here. I view it peripherally now, mainly online, some reviews and previews, and scans at the comic shop. Moreover, I have not seen Wonder Woman develop to the point that I want her sucked into a romance-action title. I don’t even know who she is yet, and from what I’m reading, no one else seems to either. The ire I have is, as usual, with company Creative and the tentacles of Warner Brothers. They made no secret before the line was launched that Supes wouldn’t be hooking up with Lois and that would leave time for Diana; totally pre-asserted. I felt my eighteen year old self stirring in newfound anticipation and by the time the story was set up, I was over it, and it’s nature as a flaccid marketing ploy was pathetically obvious. There’s a definite lack of excitement about it everywhere I’ve looked. I’ve seen no one voice a note of zeal or endorsement about this new title, it’s very “because NO ONE demanded it!”. Further, I’ve spent the better part of 40 years awaiting the return of Sensation Comics. Only seemed fair the the distaff Trinity member should have a second title to expand her mythos with. Now, it’s gonna be another damned Superman book. That kind of makes me ill. My ONLY hope, were I still invested, would be that when the relationship inevitably crumbles it would become a World’s Finest team with her in place of Ol’ Pointy Ears. I guess that’s something, even if it’s ultimately too little, too late.
So, as stated, he could choose nothing. Does he need an ongoing lover? Some heroes have them, some don’t. Some have slews of romantic liaisons, so why couldn’t he just be a serial monogamist? I don’t see him ever being loose or the cheating two-timer (though these days, who knows…) but it might be interesting for a few years to see him deal with a berth of different women of different stripes both as Clark and his high-flying alter ego to show us some decent character examination.
Of course, in the end it’s got to be the reporter. It just does. Again, the staff made it clear that this relationship wasn’t going to be there in the reintroduced story-line. Makes sense, given the marriage of the previous one. Super-hero marriages don’t usually make it for the longest haul, and are usually scratched when revamps occur. They were hitched for 15 years after dating for 60, so I think waiting a while to jump back in wasn’t really a bad decision. I do know that editors and writers are keeping Ms. Lane in the front of the bus story-wise, and that’s good. No matter the relationship, she should be there. What route will it take when the day comes? No idea, and I hope by then shifting will occur that re-invests me in the line so I can watch and enjoy. As far as versions go, I’m very enamored of the on-screen relationship from “Man of Steel”. I like the idea of Lois being the one who knows Clark, the real one- not the glasses wearing buffoon whose daily proximity to her makes her look like a fool. The dynamic therein is so intimate and understandable. That relationship is unfortunately not what’s been set up in the root media here. When they do come together, will it be fresh and exciting, or will it be more of the same from 75 years? Hopefully not. I’ve had this little idea for a few years now on how to spice up the affair. Allow me to be totally self-indulgent and lay it on you. Bear with me, and don’t dismiss it from the first sentence, please. What if they gave LL a little super-power? When I say a super-power, I don’t mean make her more like him, not at all.
Don’t make her a card-carrying super-heroine. I’m thinking something VERY specific, and it’s not a power that would make her every day advantaged by a long shot, and would embellish the nature of their union. Here goes: what if, by some accident earthly or otherwise, Lois developed an immunity to all things Kryptonian? What if she couldn’t be penetrated by heat or x-ray vision? What if, when slapped by one of the former natives, it was like she was being slapped by a human? If Kal catches her falling from a building they could both fall to their deaths, since he would be vulnerable and unable to fly when physical connection=loss of flight=no more damsel in distress. When in his woman’s arms, he’s a normal man, and only then. She’s the only person he’s truly human with. There’s some heart for you. If he goes rogue, she might be the only one on Earth who can subdue him and kick his Super-ass. Supergirl smarts off? Pop her one. Krypto misbehaves-grab that mongrel by the scruff and spank his tail. It takes away the archaic elements of our girl. It makes her free from the prying nature of her lover’s powers, even when unintentional. It makes the relationship itself more multi-faceted, and levels the playing field. The idea is pregnant with prospective story lines. Lois gets brought in by a covert agency to avert Kryptonian threats. Possessed or controlled Lois is the enemy he can’t beat with infinite advantage when she ambushes him, and she’s off the radar of his empowered ears. Phantom Zone jail-break? Here’s your next line of defense. She’d still be subject to being preyed upon by the average super-villain, and would have to use her noggin. Superman showing up to save the day would mean NO physical contact for him to get the job done with yellow-sun dependent abilities. No more carrying her to the skies, just two lovers on a stroll, holding hands. I could go all day.
There are so many needless revisions and omissions going on in mainstream comics re-boots these days, and few really fuel new and exciting aspects of the characters they would have us to believe they are trying to improve. I want character driven, not just sales driven and everything that’s happening seems so transparent and faddish. I guess to some extent it’s been that way for a long time, it just seems so much more-so now, and maybe that’s just the hell of wisened aging. Seems like a hefty amount of readers are seeing it too, and they could be in the same boat. Maybe it’s a little of all. I think if the people behind the decisions looked at the heaps of material that’ve become legend and are selling at 75 bucks a pop in Absolute editions and such, they’d see that stepping back from the hard-sell and letting creative types bring flair to older concepts like the Kent/Lane love story, they’d get a more devoted and excited audience. I haven’t abandoned hope, I’m just holding onto my wallet until something wows me back into the fold. Save the Super-Love!
LEAVE ME A LOVE NOTE OR A BREAK-UP LETTER- I LOVE FEEDBACK.
Real quick, yes this site is all about super-heroines. The pod was empty, so maybe Supergirl is flyin’ around somewheres and I am totally Lois Lane’s bitch. Done and done.
OK, so there’s this Superman movie called “Man of Steel” that maybe you’ve heard about or perhaps have seen. If not, stop here, unless you are an id-controlled-nerd- man-child like me who went ahead and read a spoiler-laden critical piece instead of waiting a whole damn 48 hours to see it myself. The review I read crucified it. It dissected it, and annihilated almost every frame. I was scared. Lucky for me, I’m all about critical dissection and objectivity. I don’t let my emotions get in my way or prejudge anything before I see something for myself. Also, I’m a very pragmatic centrist in political affairs. A lot of folks are attached to certain concepts and ideologies like tar babies. Not me, jack. What you should further know about me is that I’m as sentimental as a dishrag. Seriously. Send me a Christmas card and I will open it and smile on the way to the trash can it’s headed for (I hate clutter). I have folks in my life that I care about and am attached to, but to me every day is new. I enjoy our history together, but I’m a “here and now” type. Same with comics. I want to see something new and exciting when I open the cover. Now, I AM down with nostalgia all the way. I love cool antiques and such, and I love looking at old photos, not because I MISS the times therein, but because I like to see where things come from. I don’t like things that are new when they corrupt the root essence, though. I’ve written diatribes about modern interpretations of classic characters when I feel like this happens. It’s lazy, most of the time, to get rid of essentials that make these characters who they are. Anything can be updated with the silly fat of age trimmed away, and a LOT of it is silly. Like, say, wearing underwear with a belt outside your tights. That said, I have seen more vitriol, outrage, deep personal offense (it’s a damn movie, let’s not forget. Comics are “just lines on paper” some wise sage told me recently), and volleyed pro- and anti- columns over this flick than any I can remember. I even got caught up for a second myself, then realized that I was kinda being the person I hate to be and stepped away. That’s why I’m turning this in so late. VERY LITTLE anger here. Much elation, in fact. I love this movie and I’m going to tell you why. First, I think we need to chat about super-hero movies in general.
“Marvel’s got it down pat. They make awesome super-hero movies without ripping the characters apart.” OK, first, I don’t think MOS did that at all, but that’ll come later. Be patient. Marvel movies don’t have to do as much because their characters weren’t written for eight year olds in the ’40s. Marvel books were written for wider demographics in the ’60s, after a dismal and disillusioning period of a decade and some change. With them, no need to add depth and such, because it was already there. Drama with realized character studies starts 5 or so pages into the first Fantastic Four story, and goes thru every Marvel comic up to now, with varying degrees of success. Like I said, in the ’40s for eight year olds- and all their titles starring cops. People whom, for various reasons, put on fun-suits and go out to save the world and fight crime. Why? Because that’s the stuff of kids of a bygone era. It was totally soldier-boy scout, cowboy fare gone urbane. The fantastical meets the fantasy. Now, a lot of folks are bemoaning the ‘dark realistic’ nature of contemporary DC fare. No secret, I’m not a New 52 comics fan very much at all. It’s ugly, congested, too compacted and compartmentalized, and pretty damned mean-spirited. This is the classic comics company, and I think that’s a negative way to go about it. Again, they can keep the magic, and still update with creativity, and again, I blame the lack on laziness with a heavy dose of greed from folks who don’t like super-heroes. As for the movie DCU, I don’t find it dark. I find it new. And by new, I mean it’s like the real honest-to-Rao world. It is untapped, there is no history of anything out of the ordinary to the man on the street. Don’t like that? Likely, if you’re over 35, you asked for it, pal. Yes, I heard you in the comics shop pissing and moaning about how un-dark and un-real Batman (Burton) was, and how you would’ve made it better without going to film classes. Lets face it, a bad and unreal superhero flick is a total pants-ing to a comic fan, especially in the days before the adaptation onslaught. Many sought validation in those days via mainstream media. “See, I was right. You should’ve been reading comics ALL ALONG, just like me”, they’d tell their un-understanding peers, and they would no doubt see that this here dude was obviously right. Never gonna happen. Most people who like comic films don’t necessarily give a crap about going out and buying an Avengers comic or the like, and never will. I’ve met people who have never even dug a cartoon EVER who thought “The Dark Knight” was cool. The validation ethic has subsided over the years. We’ve got the internet and scores of mutual fans we can talk to, and comic-cons are chic, so stigma is virtually lifted. Still, we got what we clamored for. Now, there are a lot of peeps who want the opposite. They seem to want a comic movie that’s all about the lack of suspension of disbelief, and more comic-like. I got a movie for you. “Batman and Robin”. As comic as the day is long, and loathed by a lot of everybody. Wretched costumes and the world’s shittiest Batgirl aside, it’s a Batman comic. Watch it again and see. It’s the epic example of comic-book dialogue and action. Literal translation attempts just do not work, not at all. Comics are in their own space on the printed page and they have to have some major tweaking conceptually to make the transition work. The reverse example is the dreadful comics adaptation of a film, always as dull as dust. I think a balance COULD happen, but it would take a stellar effort, and a big risk for a studio. To my own conceit, I would love to see the movie in my head with a thousand inch-tall Kandorans whipping Brainiac and his space-monkey’s ass in sepia. However, life has taught me that it ain’t all about me, much to my loathing, and the wants/desires of myself and a few hundred others will not incite a bankrolling. That said, let’s us talk about Superman on film.
My heart was fluttering in that movie theater in 1978. From the first frame with Jor-El to Superman flying away at the end, I don’t think I breathed a lick. In 1981, even moreso. Superman 2 was beyond anything cool I’d seen by light years. I saw it three times that summer. The Phantom Zone villains, OMG. Lois finds out about Clark, Clark gives up his powers, I could go on and on. About 3 years ago, I got my mitts on the Donner Director’s Cut of ‘2’. I couldn’t wait to see the expanded and even radder concept. I thought I was going to gouge out my eyes before the damn thing was over. It was awful. God-awful. My nostalgia was satisfied in like, 15 minutes, and the rest was sick with silly, and not in a fun way. The acting was fairly abysmal and over the top. I’m cool with camp, but the majority was just self-serious missteps. The camp however is all on Luthor, who I want to be VERY serious. Wanna talk about ridiculous? De-powered Clark walking through the Arctic in a Members-Only windbreaker to the Fortress in about a day. Yes, that happened. AND, it’s not a happy movie. Yes, it’s great fun when Supes and the Kryptonian crime-posse fight in the sky- Look out for that manhole cover!! Laughs galore when Clark kills ALL THREE of them at the end. Yeah. Then, he kisses Lois and manages to extract one little detail and a weekend from her brain via inexplicable lobotomy techniques without leaving her a drooling idiot. Then he goes to a diner and fucks up a trucker who made him look like a bitch in front of his lady with no attempt to hide his Clark identity. There’s the movie you’re celebrating. That’s your masterpiece. Again, I’m not sentimental, and this film is pretty much crap. “Klute” was made in 1971 and still has not a second of silliness, so I don’t want to hear any hooey about how it was just the times. Looney Tunes were made for kids and adults separately, so you would grow to love them more with age in the freakin’ ’40s, so I’m not hearing it. I’m objective, remember, and I say Chris Reeve looked like Superman, so he was Superman, no more, no less. In terms of appearance and style, I would think the peanut gallery would be glad that the flick they are genuflect to was not treaded on by it’s descendant. That’s one thing I enjoyed about the look and feel of the newer piece, it was in no way a throwback. Now, let’s talk more about the movie at hand. I want to start with one of my favorite things about it: Jonathan Kent.
Jonathan Kent’s portrayal in the film by Kevin Coster (whom I could take or leave, but Diane Lane on the other hand…) has enraged more comic traditionalists than Joel Osment has the Baptists. He has been sited as teaching Clark to be a coward. The original Jon was just a tombstone matching his wife’s for years. Then he became an old man in his sick bed telling Clark to always help people. Along came the ‘tween years’ Superboy, and Jonathan and Martha (nee Mary) were part of the story, now. Jon and Martha love their Super-son and encourage him to be the Boy of Steel. Martha even sews him a costume out of indestructible other-worldly baby blankets (ever seen a baby blanket? They’re about the size of a linen napkin- he must’ve been swaddled in fifty of the yellow, blue, and red numbers, who the hell knows where the belt buckle came from). Then, they croak and young Kent heads to Metropolis. So, there’s this scene in the new movie that to my mind is one of the most important ones in the piece. Apparently, lots of people slugged down their jumbo cokes during the previews and had to empty their voids during it. After saving a bus-load of his fellow kids from a water-submerged school bus and risking having his true nature exposed, Papa Kent tells his adoptive young’n that although he’s glad the youths didn’t die, he is really not one bit ok with the risk of his ‘outing’. His reason is that the awareness of Clark’s nature might fuck up THE WORLD. Yes, he says that if Clark is found out to be an alien hiding amongst humans, it could undo Earth’s ethos completely; their belief systems, place in the universe, everything. A new level of fear, mistrust, and panic could likely happen. He’s got a good point there. Also, he was worried about his child’s safety. Remember, at this stage of the game the extent of the boy’s powers are not known. He voices his fear about his son being scrutinized, studied, dissected, and god knows what by the science community. It could be argued that he could slapped some bifocals on Clark and told him to go fight for the American way in a super-suit, but remember this is our world, not Earth DC. The concept of a super-hero does not exist here at all. Next, he couldn’t have known that a bus-load of Kryptonians were en route to Earth to find the star-orphan when he gave him this code. Clark doesn’t go into hiding because he has unfounded cowardice, he’s just scared he’ll be the ruin of us all. Also, the much-maligned tornado scene. By this point, Jon has instilled in him the heavy reason for keeping his secret. Clark knows he can’t save his beloved dad, and the horror is on his face. Jonathan dies feeling that he did the right thing. Pragmatically, I could argue that knowledge of the alien could galvanize the world with a common threat a’la Watchmen, but Jonathan Kent is a country dude, not Ozymandias or Alan Moore, and his son would still be in peril. What ends up happening is that CK has to come out. No choice. Earth is gone if he doesn’t, and obviously his intention all along has been his way of protecting it. Remember, when he puts on that suit, it doesn’t make him a super-hero. It makes him brave, and that’s the nature of bravery in the real world. Doing something you’re scared of and don’t want to do, when something sacred is at stake. For my money, movie JK is a much better father than comic guy. Comic Kent wants his son to be a super-scout with none of these realistic regards for safety. In HIS world, there are aliens and crazed scientists around every corner. In a real world scenario, he’d just be kind of a pompous ass who cared not one lick about repercussions, and maybe a tad self-serving so he could pat himself on the back. The translation from comic to film is glaringly apparent in this scenario, in that it just doesn’t work on Earth Prime. One more thing, some folks keep talking about everyone’s favorite corpse of a father figure, Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben, and his world-famous ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ sermon. OK, he was talking to his intellectually empowered ‘son’. He was not in any way endorsing what Peter ends up doing. “Oh, so you’re thinking about going out in a spandex suit and endangering your life by getting in a fight with some metal tentacle having motherfucker and if you get outed, my wife is likely going to get killed? Scratch what I said. What I MEANT to say was ‘With great power comes great amounts of dough and women.’ You should start by becoming a pro-wrestler. I’ll be your manager”.
Second, lets go the birthplace of the flick and the hero, Krypton. It’s a sterile, fairly dark technocracy. It’s a very elaborate technological paean to the works of John Byrne’s 1986 Super-origin comic with the same name as the movie. Even the resident’s duds are from that classic mini-series. Emotionally void, driven by cruel, cold, loveless sciences, and educated to the point of sad ignorance describes the natives. Also of note, in terms of the visible aspect of Krypton tech-which BTW is awesomely gorgeous-is the big head-like tentacled ships, that I am fairly certain are a precursor to Brainiac. On the planet in regards to the unemotional leadership, Jor-El is the heartfelt, reasoning voice of dissent. Zod is also totally heart-felt, but sheerly radical. He and Jor-El love each other, it’s obvious, but their difference of ideology in terms of getting their job done severs them. I love this Zod. He’s not a villain to his heart at all. 1978 Zod was a thug with no reason, who was further en-assholed by the fact that he and his pals were sent by a judgmental Zor-El to a cosmic limbo to suffer for eternity. Why not just kill ’em?? Sounds kinda ‘death penalty’ to me. The new Zod is passionate and wants his planet to live, no more, no less. Kal-El is his last ray of hope. Nothing else matters, least of all this lil’ blue marble. At the end of the saga, Zod loses all hope of Krypton’s resurrection, and he is totally broken. He just wants to break everything. Especially if it’s in anyway dear to the man who ruined his desired destiny. In the horrific battle, a LOT of people obviously died. Buildings were leveled in Godzilla 2000-like proportions. For some odd reason, that’s become a sore spot with the detractors. Why? Was Clark supposed to be able to do more than he did, or stop fighting, or what? If he did, the whole world was doomed, it seemed. He was doing all he could to stave them off until they could be eliminated, and I didn’t get the feeling he was very happy about anything that was happening. Then, when it was over, he killed the shit out of Zod, and half the internet blew the hell up.
OK, Superman doesn’t kill-unless it’s Zod. This is the third time it’s happened, and that’s hardly a secret. LIke I said earlier, he throws Zod and his de-powered pals down a deep hole in ‘2’. What did people think that meant? That he was gonna throw them food and water down every day? They were likely dead on impact, if physics mean anything in the ’70s silly-verse. John Byrne, again an influence here, had Superman make the impossible choice during his run in the late ’80s. That instance was the whole pack once again, and in that scene they actually begged for their lives. The trio made it quite clear that no matter what he did, they would come back and kill everyone. Not a perfect story by any stretch, but it was done to show that if the fate of the world hung on something that required Kryptonian world-threat damage control, it was all on him to make the hardest choice. In the comics, it drove him over the edge and induced a split personality in Kal. SIlly, again, but in an ’80s comics kind of way, it made some points about the boundary that had never been explored. As for the movie scene that so many folks were crying ‘Superman never kills!” over. Well, yeah, the head-count is six at this point, AND- what else was he supposed to DO? Zod tells him outright that his reason for living ergo his soul is gone. All he will do is destroy everything in sight. Clark BEGS him to stop, passionately. He does not in any way want to kill Zod. He’s right where his dad was in doomed Krypton. He feels about Zod roughly the same way Papa El did. This is his brother in a way, and he doesn’t want to have to do this. The fatal second comes with Clark’s hands around Zod’s head with heat vision trailing towards a screaming mob of innocents and Kal making a last plea, where Zod makes it abundantly clear he is not going to stop. Then, he does it. Immediately, he falls back, and screams a horrid, soul-deep wail. To me, this is a crown jewel moment. First, Cavill CAN act. This scene is raw, powerful, and genuine. Second, if you’re going to make a movie about this character the progression is and should be alien first, superhero next. They don’t come out of boxes, and like I said earlier, the evolution of a hero is someone who does the right thing even if it hurts badly and overrides everything you’ve been taught. This scene to me was Kal jumping through that hoop. He comes out on the other side ready for the job with unimaginably tough decisions forging and informing the first superhero. Going back to the past representations, this Zod was, for me, such a great 3D version of the character. Not at all a superficial villain like the last movie portrayal. Very flesh and blood, and tragic in the end. Humanity abounds in this film. I’ve heard so much about the dark and faithless nature of the piece, and I’m still wondering who was awake when they saw this? Everyone was real and had pain, for sure. By the end of the film though, showing of heart was universal. We never got to see the world’s reaction to Superman, just the ground-level witnesses who are all on his side firmly by the end, most notably the military folk- and of course, Lois Lane.
The Lois love story was a huge crux in the first two summer blockbusters. I will say positively in regards to the earlier works, that angle was well done. They were very period-driven in regards to the statement of who she was in the context of what we saw as female empowerment at that time. Lois had a demeanor and competence level that was impressive for a woman in her situation as a pop-culture statement. She was above the damsel-in-distress shrew that the comic version was relegated to for a long time, and was still charming. A great combo of soft and rough was Margot Kidder. In the current canon, Lois is one of the best statements about powerful women you’re likely to see in this genre (right up there with Pepper Potts). She’s the most impressive Earther in the movie. She is honest, diligent, forthright, and has a steel-trap noggin. Ultimately, she does almost as much Earth-saving as CK does. Her approach to the mystery of Clark is driven by her desire to uncover truth, and when she finds it she is unrelenting. The fact that this Lois doesn’t need him to show up on the roof and tell her he means no harm and such to find him out and get his take is inspired. She’s not gaga for the man when they meet, she’s empathetic and sincere like a truth-living-and-seeking human rights champion reporter would be. That to me was crucial. Lois before always seemed to be picking out a china pattern two seconds into meeting him. Not this gal. She investigates him, analyzes him, and her fall to him is gradual and when the shit hits the fan and he is put in a godawful position and plugs through, her respect for him goes to something deeper. They go through hell together, and the intimacy is already there; she and she alone knows his heart and soul. When her death by fall is imminent, the look on the MOS’ face tells all. She’s the most important thing he’s got going and he cannot lose her, lest he be alone in the shadows forever. That’s the big and great thing about that kiss (actually both of them), Lois is the light, and he wants to stay. Kal is a gentle loving man who will do anything he can to do the right thing when it’s required of him; she doesn’t see an oddly-garbed flying alien fist-fighter, she sees a man from the ground up who needs love, and she wants to give it to him. This brings the film to it’s conclusion. We have no idea at the end if he’s got his costume hidden nearby. Likely not, given this is in the physical world. He’s Clark in glasses, coming into the world with the one and only human being he can trust. Now that the threat of Krypton 2 is gone, he’s ready to live in the world, wizened and in a deeply passionate love. I may not be sentimental, but yeah- I’m a sap, when it comes to well-done love statements about aliens and shit. About Amy Adams, quickly, I personally believed her. Done. Further, on Clark’s arrival at the end of the pic in the Planet office, we get the Byrne take once more. Not a goofy clod, but a normal, fairly attractive guy with no shadow of Lois’ galling stupidity from the past- staying perpetually Super-sexed-in-the-head, and there’s the guy standing next to her with some hair gel and specs. Ridiculous, and thankfully gone. Now, let’s talk about your personal lord and savior, Clark of Smallville.
So many criticisms I’ve read about this flick go to the glaring Jesus analogy, and I hate to tell you this kid, but the fix was in from the first panel. Kal-El, as a name, is a Hebrew term meaning “voice of God “, or something similar depending on the translator. This stems from the denomination of the creators. Sent by an astral father, raised by humans, grows up to save the world, totes obvious. In the 1970s, I remember being a nerd-let and hanging out at my nearby K-Mart, and the only thing that caught my eye in the paperback section was “The Gospel According to Superman”. It was written by a minister and it had a total Mary Magdeline-Lois, apostle-Jimmy, Luthor-devil sermon between it’s covers. This movie is not only not the architect of the concept, but it’s actually LESS of an analogy than the others. Think about it. The others are about the Strange Visitor on a mission to save the world and lead by example. Sound familiar?? The new is about a guy who hides in the cold so he doesn’t ruin everything. What actually happened is that a multi-media string of churches latched onto the film from the second of release and made it all about their interpretation of Christ. No more, no less. I’ve been to a multi-media church before and I will tell you now, they can make ANYTHING about the gospel. “When Harry Met Sally” was the sermon-focus on my visit, starring an unrepentant Jew, no less. The endorsement, of course, made for knee-jerky opposition. In our climate, anything pro- gets met with a vitriolic anti-, even if the former is unfounded. If Rush Limbaugh had said this movie was fun, it would’ve been labelled as gestapo-mindrot. I did see one Family Values crusader whining about the fetish gear aspect of the costume and it’s obvious homo element. Again, an anti-gay that seems to know as much about the cultural kink as I do. Both sides of the aisle tried to hop on a soapbox about it being either a heavy-handed sermon, or a testament to the obvious heroism of Governor Rick Perry. Sorry all, but it AIN’T THERE. Kal doesn’t come riding up on a burro saying “I am NOT the Prince of Peace (Jesus’ first words in the Bible- ‘the more you know’)”, and doesn’t bring any messages about repenting to his angry dad. Also, for you unknowing heathens, Satan does not show up with a horde of demons and tear up Bethlehem. This whole affair is nothing shy of partisan projection, a thing that is killing our society like cancer. Everyone has to pick a damn side even when the object of the debate just isn’t there. People undoubtedly went into the flick looking for an ideologically offensive/endorsing aspect, and as sited by my ‘modern’ church experience, you can do that with pretty much anything, if you set your mind to it.
Briefly, about the costume. I don’t really love or hate it. Objectively, the classic suit was too anachronistic, and needed something to happen. Retooling the look of a near century old heavily influential historical figure, you are in a hell of a bind. I don’t like who DC got to do it in the comics. A belted piece of armor is just asinine, and functionless. As for the film’s take, at least there’s no pointless belt, for one thing. Also, it fits as an alien element. Krypton is not a brightly colored Disneyland, it’s a dystopia. I understand the desire for happy threads, but when retooling the duds the bright colors are really hard to make visually appealing and not clownish. Decent results for a no-win situation.
There are some arguments and whines about the movie I won’t even indulge individually because the ideology behind them is flawed and ridiculous. In regards to power-sets, time of yellow sun exposure, blah blah blah. Here it is: if you get TOO concerned, nit-picky, and microscopic in your case, you might just end up admitting the silent truth we all know. Super powers are pretty much bullshit, if you wanna be all succinct. They are always unprovable by science, and it’s all about suspension of disbelief, ultimately. What the fuck is a red sun anyway? How can you go from atmosphere to atmosphere and survive? How can a pack of culturally long dead aliens speak good English? We swallow hogwash to accept a century old mythos. Period. Magic is more plausible than this. When you open that box, where do all these lazer shooting shape shifters and the like get their power sources? We have to swallow SOME lunacy, even in efforts to be real world. No movie will ever have time to explain the physics and such of every aspect. Just go with it, unless it’s glaring and overpowering to the story, like Buffy Summers getting impaled and then getting pissed off enough to jump up and kill vampires and drive off into the sunset. Whedon- WTF??????
Oddly, as I was into writing this comes the announcement of Ben Affleck’s Batman casting in the new flick. Without going into a sermon on the mount about it, the ire is omnipresent already and civil war is breaking out on the geekernet. No one’s gonna wait and see, they’re going to decide how it is right now. Dollars to do-nuts, if this turns out to be a groundbreaking film that gives these folks everything they ever wanted in a superhero movie, you’ll likely not hear about it. It’s again our culture and our adherence to immediate response, an issue I find very disturbing. Deep offense is as common as Big Macs nowadays. It’s Drama Queens vs. Drama Queens over everything. The immediate jerk of the patella is the mission that must be carried out until death, no matter what is seen on the actual field. This even goes into the Marvel v DC arena of film. It’s OK for both to be good. Appreciation does not mean defection. For me, without going too deep, I want the next movie to be good. Not saying it will be, but I want to see something cool and no matter what anyone else tells me, I will watch it and judge it, like most things I see, on it’s own merits. I’m not going to compare it to my inner five-year old’s security blanket, and I won’t be offended if elements are shifted to make the DC world habitable for all audiences. Once more- a movie based loosely on lines on paper. NO MORE, NO LESS. Save me a seat and a ticket!
YOU HAVE TO BE QUIET IN THE THEATRE, BUT NOT HERE. I LOVE COMMENTS/FEEDBACK/ARGUMENTS LIKE I DO RAISINETS. JUST KEEP IT ABOUT THE PIECE IF YOU WILL. THIS MOVIE SEEMS TO BRING OUT SOME UGLINESS FROM IT’S SUPPORTERS/HATERS, SO PLEASE, DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL.
This is actually the impetus for the whole site. It’s a labor of love, with many angles and some strong emotions for me, personally. I’ve loved the titular character of this blog from before kindergarden. I’ve followed her on a monthly basis for almost 40 years. I’ve waited breathlessly for her show to debut, and each episode thereafter. I’ve anxiously awaited any portrayal of her in any media, to some excitement and lots of disappointment. I’ve bought toys galore. I’ve spent good money over bad for my fix, even when I really didn’t have the capital to do so. In recent years, it has become a major frustration for me, and I’ve analyzed why to the Nth degree, and this is my dissection, observation, and potential solutions. I hope you enjoy.
A TARGET OF MUCH DISCUSSION
I’ve taken to scanning a lot of comments about Wonder Woman lately. They are as varied as those about sports teams. Some I’m with, many I’m not. Here’s a sampling, with my responses that I’ll fortify later: “Comic fans are sexist, and won’t give her a chance.” Nope, not buying it. For one, I run a fan group page, and there’s so much love for her it’s astounding. Second, when DC announced the coming of the New 52, without a doubt I can say that fan excitement over Wonder Woman’s new title was through the roof. It was everywhere about Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang’s forthcoming take. Third, check out the internet and see how many articles/sites/groups there are about her. As the song says “All The World Is Waiting For You…”. I don’t blame fans, I blame creators. PERIOD. Also, in regards to sexism, Marvel has Captain Marvel, drawing in new fans, a large portion of which are female. “They should take her back to Perez era, and make her an ambassador for peace”. Not with you there, either. More later, but in a nutshell, Perez told his story sum and full. Totally. It wouldn’t be honoring the intent of the character, it would be back-peddling. As stated, MUCH more to follow. “I don’t know this character anymore.” Bingo! No one does, and again, it falls to Creative. This character is so blurry at this point, there’s no consensus. She’s been failed and revamped to no avail repeatedly. Every creator tries to undo the previous one and make it something new, and for some reason she winds up in the same pigeon-hole with even more inconsistencies and loosening of definition and purpose than before. The wheel has been recreated with stunning pace. Most galling is, like most characters, if you just go to the start to find the intention, see how it got lost, and then see how to bring it home again, it’s all right there. Let’s start from the start.
THE GOOD DOCTOR AND WOMEN
Charles Moulton, nee Dr. William Moulton Marston, is largely known for his sexual proclivities. Let’s get them out of the way first, if we must. He was into the bondage thing, and it showed in his stories. No argument. He had multiple wives and partners under the same roof. The same, and done. OK, now we can look at the rest. He believed in a principle of womanhood that involved matriarchy, with a fulfillment therein. The belief was that women were the only people who could save the world. Man would have to surrender totally, then women could undo their bellicose ways and make peace. Simple. It would take submission for us to get there, but then we could move toward Utopia. Paradise Island, it’s inhabitants, and Diana were borne of his logic. The island was not just a retreat for a weary bunch of women, it was a god(s) given place, where the Amazons were expected by their deities to make magic. Over centuries, these immortal gals created an atmosphere of magic, joy, love, as well as advancements in science and medicine. They were way ahead of our curve on every level. It’s this arena that was the groundwork for who Diana would be. The first incarnation of the character had an arsenal of tech. The invisible jet, a ‘mental radio’, earrings that allowed her to speak and interpret other tongues (and in some cases breathe underwater), and a lasso of pure godly magic. She was totally tricked out. The strength, speed, agility, and such were there, but they weren’t the sole source of her power by a long-shot. She was strong enough to pick up the back-end of a car to stop it from moving, but she couldn’t pick it up over her head and throw it or some-such. No flying or the like, either. Her mission, set in play by Col. Trevor’s plane crash and need for a lift home, was to be a freedom-fighting ambassador to the world. The first emissary from the race that could, and probably would, one day save us all from ourselves. One of the major ways she outdid her peers in this shade was how she handled her totally female population of foes. Upon apprehension, she would bring them to an island her “sisters” set up for her called Reform Island, where the anti-social were to be rehabbed. It was often successful. Paula Von Gunther, an Axis agent close to Hitler, ended up there and became a vital part of the Amazon science community and stayed in continuity way past the Golden Age model; the Cheetah got a new lease on life too, as did others. This was a marvelous component for showing Di as the great reformer and not just a generic crime-fighter. She got results as a social justice wunderkind. What ended up happening was the retirement of the good Doc from the book, and then the issue that was her Achilles heel from day one became the focus for years: her strange over-the-top borderline obsessive love for Steve Trevor. Her title morphed overnight into a romance book, then a pale silly imitation, a karate driven espionage book, a tv show adaptation, ending as a dark looking book with a cypher lead. Then, a cosmic Crisis with our heroine turned back to the clay she came from, the end. Next, George Perez.
GEORGE PEREZ: CREATOR, OR DESTROYER?
After the Crisis, Diana was a blank canvas ready for a new palette. The hottest artist in the DC camp, George Perez, was tapped to draw with industry vet Len Wein behind the keyboard. They attacked it with great aplomb. What they engineered was a truly cinematic take on the lady. It was not a superhero book anymore. It had a sense of identity that set it apart from the other titles, literally and figuratively. Other characters from the DCU were barely given notice nor presence. Paradise Island was now Themiscyra, keeping it with the Greek. Amazon science was now absent. Steve Trevor was a older man, who’s connection was a strange one in regards to Diana. His mom had crash landed on the Isle back in the ’40s and saved an Amazon from a monster that crawled out of the basement of the venue, where all evil mythological creatures were kept with the women in charge of their incarceration as punishment for falling to the evil ways of man and getting themselves enslaved. Diana Trevor lost her life and became the person WW was named after. The mission was back to Ambassador, and again, not super-heroine, not one bit. Rather than Washington, DC, Diana was mystically transported with Steve (no Invisible Jet this time) to Boston, where she took up residence with a scholar of Greek History, Julia Kappetelis, and her teen daughter Vanessa. In less than 10 issues, Mr. Perez became the double-duty man on the book with Wein’s exit. It was very blatantly a feminist statement. Standards of beauty, notions of the nature of feminine culture, even MENOPAUSE were topics in the title. Fans loved it, because it was so fresh and daring. Diana wouldn’t fight anyone without appealing to reason first, which I myself loved. His run lasted 62 issues, and he was joined by co-writer Mindy Newell 2/3 of the way through, and dropped the art chores around the same time and handed them to Chris Merrinan. The hindsight here, is that again, the book was more like a movie than most comics at the time. It was very real world despite it’s gods, monsters, villains, and fictional elements. Also, like a good movie, it had a beginning, a middle (I’d qualify the arc where ambassadors from “Patriarch’s World” came to Themiscryra and were terrorized by Eris, the goddess of strife as the median), and an end- where Diana shuts down the Wonder Woman Foundation she established, and flies off into the sunset with a full tote bag. Story told, done and done.
JOHN BYRNE TRIES TO SET IT RIGHT, AND NEARLY DOES
John Byrne came in on a mission. A few words about the man: he’s a one-man band. He does it all, the writing, the drawing, even the lettering in some cases. He’s a clean-up guy. He comes onto a book, and mostly ignores what came before, sticking to core content and putting it back to it’s elements and bringing back what’s classical and outstanding. His downside? He’s pretty “meh” as an actual script writer. I find that his dialogue is pretty lame, as a rule, and he takes fairly contrived and clunky means to get things back on their shelves. That said, he does get ultimate results. Here’s the laundry list:
Gateway City– She needed a home of her own since the get-go. Moulton wasn’t aware of her peer circumstances when he opted for D.C. as the locale. Gateway was a great analogy for San Francisco, which fits like a glove. It gives her distance from the obvious New York refs that Metropolis and Gotham are AND as a metaphor, SF would be a great environment for her with it’s liberal, free-spirited demeanor. This is crucial to her Trinity presence, shared with Batman and Superman.
Invisible Jet– He gave it plausibility. A gift from aliens, that can become the vehicle of her choosing. Also, it folds up into a little see-through pendant, so no obvious parking limitations. If the move were ever made to Amazon tech, the alien origin would be unnecessary.
Wonder Girl– Every good hero needs partners, and a camp. Cassie Sandsmark was a blast, she was fun, feisty, and age-appropriate. Donna Troy had become lost after the Crisis, and needed her WW connection. The route to her destination was needlessly busy, but he added her to the ‘family’ Wonder Woman team, and gave her back her role in the DCU.
A Place Among the Heroes– Darkseid was a great foil for her. His despising of her pointed out her peaceful, love-filled truth, and showed her as a force as potent as Superman. Having her up against pre-established DC villains like Morgan LeFey and Doomsday put her firmly in the Universe.
World War 2– Wonder Woman is a WW2 icon more than her peers. Her appearance and her activities against the Nazis at the time make it so. In the new DCU it’s irrelevant, but the intent was cool and the Justice Society needed her at their table. Again, the super-heroine in full effect.
PHIL JIMINEZ, THE LAST TRADITIONALIST
Phil, IMO, might have been the truest lover of Di’s. He took the whole mythology and tried to synch it together, with a lot of good results. Like Byrne, his contributions were discarded upon his exit from the book. I will concede that the last quarter was a tad self-indulgent with the story-line with every female DC character used in one issue, and the time trip with Villainy, Inc, the most stupidly titled enclave ever. Still, he tried to make the character linear, and came closer to a cohesive working version than any other bothered to attempt.
Paradise Found– He finally got Themiscyra back to being Paradise Island. It was a bumpy road, but the floating nation, with it’s magical violence clamp-down was amazing. The Oz-like enchantment factor drew ire from some camps who obviously didn’t know the roots. If they’d just given it time and showed how it would fit into the current mythos, they might well have grown to love it.
Sister Act– He took Byrne’s team ethic and ran with it. Many stories with the Wonder Girl, “Wonder Queen” and Troia posse present, and a dynamic therein that showcased each member. The roommate situation with Donna was great, and again, discarded without any reason or acknowledgement offered.
Back in the DC Game– The opening story with the Bat-Villains was obviously to draw in readers, but it was pretty damn good. It showcased both worlds and made them in the same Universe without crowding. Also, I loved the use of the Gods without them actually being physically present (more on that later).
GREG RUCKA- HERE WE GO AGAIN
Let me start by saying that Mr. Rucka is a DAMN good writer. He offered a Diana with a personality and scenario that was undoubtedly a matured sequel to Perez’s run. Many look at it as Diana’s finest hour, and if you read Perez and Rucka only, it’s pretty good, but as I’ll point out, it even contradicts his predecessor in grand fashion.
Where’d She Go?– Rucka’s run, sort of like Byrne’s, discards the in-betweens and attempts to tell a story that leaves a wide chasm of questions between his and the Post-Crisis genesis. Byrne, unlike Rucka, does acknowledge in cursory fashion what came before. Boston, her rift with the Amazons and her mother, and the Steve-Etta presence are part of his story. Rucka comes in with conceit. Where did that embassy come from? When did the Foundation HQ get built? Since when did she have a doorway to Themiscyra? No explanations given, and in the big picture that was needed.
The Foundation– As stated, his run was obviously a 5 or so year later extension of the GP era, which as also stated, ended with her dissolving the institution. She wanted to be an example in her autonomy, and didn’t want acolytes. Rucka’s story from the ground up was about an organization that had a closed door from early on, and again, with no explanation.
Who Are These People, and Where Did They Come From?– The Minotaur chef, Io the Amazon forger, and several other characters also spring from nowhere with no rhyme or reason.
Where Did Everybody Go?– No previous supporting cast at all. The Wonder Family, most notably.
WONDER WHEEL: DIANA IS THE HAMSTER
Now, here’s an inventory of the cyclical nature of the title. This is where the road from Perez, who wrapped it with a bow, leaving his writing descendants in the dark as to what to do with her lead:
Amazons at War– Perez brought in the Bana-Mighdall, and Messner-Loebs made them co-habitants with Hyppolyta’s tribe. WML’s arc made the group at large discordant and filled with drama. Byrne had Darkseid decimate the population. Luke had them fighting gods. Jiminez brought them to civil war, then decimated without a queen by Imperiex (ending on a rare positive note). Rucka smashed the new Island to pieces, then plopped them down on the shores of the Carolinas, and immediately attacked by their neighbors. The girls were pure militants at this point, unlike the way Jiminez left them. Amazons Attack was them versus our government, and later Gail Simone had a group of rebels bent on killing the royals.
Amazons Gone– Foisted to another dimension to create Diana Prince, Kung-Fu fighter even before Perez. Back to another plane by Messner-Loebs, off to limbo by Rucka. It happens again, to be seen shortly.
The Super-Villain Roller Coaster-Perez used some of them. Messner-Loebs neutered The Cheetah as a heavy, and focused on Circe. Byrne kept Cheetah as a victim not a villain, brought back Decay, and that’s it. Luke, no past villains from the canon, re-introducing Golden Aged Dr. Poison and creating Devastation (not used since). Jiminez used almost all of them. Rucka, none but a re-invigorated Cheetah. Heinburg brings them back as a group, leaves without establishing them. Picoult- none. Simone, even with the recent update and upgrade, it’s only Cheetah and Psycho without any of the more underused and exiting prospects like The Mask, Osira, Silver Swan, et al at her disposal. When you look at the JLA pantheon, rogues should be virtually omnipresent and explored.
Circe, the Leaning Post– Perez brought her in, and she’s an interesting foil. Messner-Loebs made her presence a background through most of his run. Jiminez made her the Big Bad. Heinberg made her the instigator, and the woman behind everything. Amazons Attack turned out to be all her doing. Circe is Wonder Woman’s Brainiac. She’s a big time threat to everyone, and should be used sparingly to keep her so. There’s no consistent Lex Luthor, and there needs to be. Someone consistently plotting and scheming who can’t be shrugged off. I vote for the Cheetah, whose staying power and presence in multi-media should make her be the one (for elaboration, see here).
Everybody’s a Damn “Visionary”– Perez, all from scratch. Messner-Loebs is cursed to find his own way. Byrne undoes WML. Luke discards Byrne. Jiminez drops Luke’s concepts. Simonson goes rogue. Rucka throws out everybody but Perez. Heinberg starts fresh. Simone changes the foundations. Picoult delivers the ultimate arrogance, and refuses to read any source material, because she’s so gifted and vision-driven, offering a disturbingly lukewarm take. All you get here is a muddied, contradicting book, with interpretations that do not jibe. By the time we got to the end, Hyppolyta, who was born an adult, who walked out of the ocean in the opening of Perez’s run, somehow had a grandmother at the end of the title, as a for instance.
Who IS this?– Back to the earlier complaint, no one knows. The last substantial origin story was in 1986. Batman: Year One is the same here, but Batman is an earth-level type. His story really doesn’t bear repeating, given it’s iconic status, and incorruptible mission statement. Fantastical characters need revision and semi-decade updates with ties to their present day interpretation. That’s why Superman gets that treatment, and his origin is easily as legendary as Bats’. Without this storytelling element, inconsistencies and contradictions abound.
The Warrior Path– Again, Perez unwittingly made it so, it wasn’t the impetus of the mission. By the Rucka end, she was re-imagined over and over as a sword and sorcery character, and not at all the peace-loving super-heroine. This is her disconnect in the Trinity and the League. The fantastical elements are vacant, and we have Lady Hercules in place. When in the group setting, she’s usually just a powerhouse combatant. Her intellect and know-how takes a backseat. She’s rarely seen in her company trying to be a peacemaker at all. The discarded pre-Crisis science-savvy lady fits the DCU much better, in my eyes, putting her in good company with Bats, as an alien from an advanced culture she fits with Superman, as the recipient of cultural arsenal, she’s there with Green Lantern. As a scientist, she should be beyond The Flash. The Universe is all about Science driven characters. Sword and sorcery doesn’t garner much of a choir- see: Warlord, and the cancelled Sword of Sorcery post New52 title.
THE NEW 52-FILLED WITH HOPE AND DISAPPOINTMENT
I’d like to go back to the start of this treatise now. Remember when I talked about fan anticipation? I wasn’t kidding. It was everywhere, the love was there and practically on fire. This was fueled by the announcement of the creative team. I had literally thought repeatedly that if I had my pick, I would go with Cliff Chiang. I got my wish. For the first time in decades, DC did something I truly wanted with this character and I was ecstatic. Now, there’s writer Brian Azzarello, a noted and pedigreed scribe whose work is always creative and groundbreaking who got the community and myself hoping against hope for a brand new day for the character we are all just itching to love. That was not the case, at all, for me and a large body of readers. Not one bit. The story was not just the same, but in many ways worse.
Amazon Assholes Exponentially– Not three issues in, we learn that the tribe are hateful, savage, and dislike the main character. Hyppolyta is a coward, a liar, and is lust driven, throwing out her original wisdom and convictions. She’s a traitor to the deity she owed her life to. Further, as in a thousand miles so, the Amazons are raping thugs that do not value human life, slaughtering their sexual conquests and throwing their infants into the ocean to drown. Great statement about womanhood growing in autonomic circumstances here. BACK TO THE DARK AGES. AGAIN.
About That Rape and Babies Jazz– Just what does Di know about reproduction? Apparently nothing at all. She was on an island with small children who had to grow up with her and packs of pregnant women, yet somehow didn’t piece anything together. A plot hole the size of the Grand Canyon. ABUSIVE TO INTENT, AND MYOPIC. AGAIN.
Amazons Gone– Also at it’s virtual inception as a title, we get the women turned into a feast of snakes, and the Queen is a statue. Poof. LAZY WRITING-AGAIN.
Hermes Is Just Hangin’, and the Rest– Perez already did this. Hermes came to Earth, hung with Di, was dissected to show the nature of godhood, and ended up dead. This brings up a bone with me about the Pantheon- what is faith? I’d say it’s believing in something you can’t prove. If you could pal around or sit and talk to God/Jesus/Mohammed, would that be faith? For me, it would not. As cast members, they are castrated. The presence should be felt and referenced, not seen. Furthermore, with intact Amazons, and a Man’s World cast, this makes three, then add on the JLA and such. Too scattering, and again, not really necessary. DONE BETTER BEFORE, AGAIN.
A New Cast That Eats the Title– A new character that’s vastly uninformed as such is immediately thrust into a circle. Zola is there before she is, and then the cast is mounting by the fourth issue. This book is not Wonder Woman, it’s a team book better called “God Force”. The nature of the new cast keeps her from developing and informing her present day surroundings and totally contradicts her outside appearances. WEAK. AGAIN.
Once More, Who Is This?– No origin telling. We are given nothing. She wakes up in London with no back-story. The Amazon mythos are not explored to explain the mission. JLA gives us the info that Steve Trevor was there, but she wasn’t into him, so why did she come and stick around? Just to get off that caustic island? Adrift and pointless once more. This was the chance to clean up a serious mess, and it was fumbled to a spectacular degree. Dan DiDio said he didn’t want to re-invent the wheel, and go back to established territory. What territory is THAT? The last offering, nigh-three decades ago bears no resemblance to this person. Diana’s peers get opposite treatment in this regard, and everyone acts like it’s a failing on the character’s part. Diane Nelson claims they just don’t know how to take such a jigsaw puzzle and adapt it to film. Here was your chance, you signed off on it, it’s all on you, lady, and your selected team. FAIL, AGAIN.
The Tradition Trampled– Along with the obscene and ghastly nature of the Amazons, we find out that Diana is Zeus’ bastard child. The clay thing was hokey in it’s inception. The Silver Age discarded it and gave her a dead dad who perished with all the other Amazon men in war. Gail Simone used the clay baby and got rid of the Golem-ish nature of the aspect with the spilling of the Queen’s blood to connect her as kin. Simple, and derides the disconnect inherent to the character. Moreover, Cassie Sandsmark was already done as his abandoned offspring, so this actually sort of reduces Di. Not to mention, now she’s literally Hercules-Woman. LAZY AGAIN.
A HORROR Book?– I’ll directly address the writer here. Who asked you for this, Brian? Seriously? If I want a horror book, I will buy one. I want a hero book like this one is supposed to be. Throwing a character like this into a different genre to avoid dealing with the subject at hand is lame. On top of that, I am OVER the Vertigo-izing of DC proper. I love(d) both, and want(ed) different things from each. This universe is too crowded as it is, and there’s little space being given to new and exciting prospects. I realize some of this is from a background in hard, edgy fare, but real Creatives can move to other genres and adapt. This is a creator adapting a character to them, so the comfort zone doesn’t get breeched. A few writers have done WW horror stories, and they were great. Changing the entire milieu of the character’s book to avoid stretching your wings is wretchedly weak. LAZY AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Another Damnable Visionary– Following the horrific example of Jodi Picoult, BA only got some cursory knowledge of the story and decided he knew what was best. Done with no examination (obviously) of what might be repetitious, or defeat the essence of the character. No one is so damned good that they can pick up an icon without scrutinizing and objectifying what came before. LAZY LAZY LAZY AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Cliff Chiang is a Pro, Yet No Control– Jim Lee created the horrific costume from the J. Michael Straczynski run, and it was loathed by the masses. For ridiculous numbers-driven reasons, he got to re-outfit a majority of the DCU, to gross effect (rant in full HERE). Busy, ugly suits abound. Naturally, he got to re-design WW’s dud of duds. A muted, washed out black, red, and silver number with unnecessary line-work. A functionless piece with an ornamental armband and choker set that repeats the chest emblem which now looks like so much bling. This was preceded by a signed-off look that involved black pants and friggin’ KNEE PADS. Cliff’s art is corrupted by it’s presence. His stuff is simple and elegant and he would’ve been a more than plausible designer for the look. Darwyn Cooke, in his legendary New Frontier, came up with a brilliant tweak of the original visual, and it was lauded greatly. Then dumped TWICE for a busy, excessive, and trendy Lee design. NOTHING LEARNED. AGAIN!
CAN THIS MESS BE FIXED, AND HOW?? THE ‘NO’ SIDE
Yes, it can, and no, it likely won’t. Won’t, because the damage is done. Maybe in 5 years, maybe in a decade, but not now. Decisions are being made by folks who do not care about and likely don’t even dig comics. All of the trickle-down from the Warner parent company has been part of a licensing plan for other ventures. It’s numbers on paper. They’re looking at bumps by Marvel, DC, and Image from the ’90s and deciding on what we comic readers want, with no knowledge of the fact that those that built it turned against it. I, for one, never wanted Vertigo to move into the DCU and bring the horror fringe. I loved both, separately but equally. I don’t want a damn Wonder Woman horror book, I want a book about a super-heroine, the grandmother of them all. Instead, I got a book I can’t stand to read anymore. I gave it several chances, too. I’ve tried her also in JLA, and it’s more been-there-done-that post 80’s drivel, where she’s a warrior who has no problem killing. She’s dating Superman now, too. Great. There goes autonomy and a sense of her own personal space in the DCU. It just seems to get worse.
THE YES SIDE
Maybe, just maybe, the writing on the wall will make new things happen. That’s a reference to the fact the New 52 started with a bang, and is now just so-so in the overall comic sales mix. Maybe that (literal) Pandora’s Box will entrap the evil it unleashed (still sounds metaphoric, no?) and a new day will happen. Maybe an apology/amends with Nelson and whatever subordinate(s) that doesn’t get fired nodding to the fact that they did a rush job that ignored the wants and needs of their fans. Admitting too, that the ploy to gain new readership was done lousily. Warner Brothers is a BIG company, and if they really want this sector to become the post-Harry Potter tentpole, perhaps they could take a month’s loss and produce no books in the mainstream center, to allow time for some creativity to blossom. Then, return with a month of very inexpensive debuts, which would lose more on the upfront. I think that would be preferable to a bump followed by a downward spiral. Make a statement about fan love, dependence, and respect for material and they could actually achieve a win. Now, about the character at hand:
Origin Crucial– I think I’ve made my point here. I’m nodding to it again, just in case it hasn’t sunk in yet. You have to have a foundation if you want character success in any arena.
The ‘Bible”– This concept worked well for Batman for years. Make a book that is a composite, yet absolute treatise on WW. Origin notes, ideology and ethics code, situational reactions, powers and weapons set, general state of day-to-day affairs, casts, and all other relevancies should be there and be distributed to ALL DC editors and any writer who plans on using the character.
All-Star Superman: The Lessons of Grant Morrison– It is no secret the regard that the company, the fans, and the critics have for Grant. He’s earned it all, too. All-Star did the unthinkable. It took the most ludicrous aspects of the character and spun gold from them. It not only sold well, it got adapted to other media, increased love for the property with not a trace of disrespect for his relevant history, and has made scads of required comics-reading material lists as a genuine classic. Same but even more with Batman. 75 years of history umbrellaed in a little under a decade, with the silly made sublime. Awesome. Taking it and X-Men, you can see an expansion of the magic: he obviously thought of the end, worked backwards and came to the beginning. THAT’S what a visionary does. That’s how you take the old, make the new, and without corruption, deviation, or avoidance of what some would consider flaws. It is alchemy, and it is high art. Noteworthy too, is that in the last two mainstream endeavors, GM left the door open for his replacing writer. Unlike Perez who left the room with the lights off, Morrison left it open, kept the lights on, and gently escorted them into the room. He gave them a soft platform in a shiny new playroom, so they could add on whatever they liked and not stumble in the dark and trip on furniture. Wonder Woman, in other analogy, should be like Star Trek. You take the fantastical and make it a statement about the human condition. The root essence is about womanhood, love, and peace. This should be reflected in the content without having to be literal in the message. She shouldn’t be fighting terrorists, she should be fighting menaces that imply terrorism. The metaphorical approach is also high art. Art is what we want, and it’s what keeps us coming. It challenges us, and keeps us engaged. Fads pass quickly, fashion is eternal. Art is fashion. This is probably the most important message I can deliver. If you happen to be from Creative, read again until you eat, sleep, and breathe it. SIDENOTE: Morrison’s “Wonder Woman: The Trial of Diana Prince” is in the works. The preview images are already worrying me. There’s Di in Themiscyra, in chains surrounded by an unhappy mob. As an upside, there’s an image of a re-fattened tough looking Etta Candy, so hope springs eternal.
Strife is for Bad Guys, Diana Brings Hope– Diana’s picture so far may sound too rosy. That’s why consistently good foils must be delivered to give the schism. Great conflict that challenges her mind and ethics is what we need to see. Problem solving when her peers go up against foes like Luthor, the Joker, and such show how our heroes can’t just bump them off. They have to think on their toes, and often face their demons. That’s epic-making stuff.
Keep it DCU, Just Don’t Lose the Flavor– Acknowledge the nature of the super-hero, once again. In the DCU, it’s largely sci-fi, tech, and future driven. Take my earlier statement about peer analogies with the recognition that she doesn’t have to be a distaff version of any. The mission and the mindset of the character sets her apart in application, so her identity isn’t lost. Also, don’t let lazy-assed writers make her ‘Superman-Woman’. All that super-strength and flying make her fall into the category too easily. Writers in the past have alluded to her being able to communicate with animal life, exhibit a hypnotic direct eye-gase that’s impossible to resist, etc. Capitalize more on other skills.
Go to the Source, Not the Median– This is a re-iteration. Keep the original concept relevant as the propellor of the platform. Stop drawing the boundary at Perez. This has stunted the growth for too long. I think his work is great, but it’s not the only great. Look at what’s in between, and what came first. Batman and Superman have had amazing updates at the same time that Perez did his thing. Yet, I love Geoff Johns’ Superman take as well, and all of the above are directly related to the first origin telling. With WW, some was there, but a lot wasn’t. Some of that was fundamental to the character at large, just not the Perez version. Look at it as one solid chunk, and then cull the good stuff.
Lastly, If You Hire a Great Artist, Let Him/Her Do the Job– Let creative, again, be creative. Trust the appointee to come up with the look, or choose the look that suits their style. Why not multiple looks? If they’re succinct with the character, they should be recognizable to the approacher. Simpler artists, once more, make better designers that any other sketcher can pick up and follow with minimum distortion.
ONE LAST THOUGHT: VOTE!
If you are dissatisfied as a consumer (and from what I’m reading/seeing many of you are), don’t just abort, WRITE. You as a buyer are a commodity and a voter. Fire off an email with a clear subject line. It just might get read, and if enough folks do it, a change might occur. Grousing with the peanut gallery can only do so much good.
My favorite thing about Morrison’s New X-Men. The opening dialogue, wherein Professor X’s understated yet obvious vanity has him telling Jean Grey, (despite her bad planet-gobbling habit) the nicest girl on Earth, that she’s his natural replacement (since she’s so good and all). Then comes this little minx. She’s got X’s vanity, passion for teaching the young, and powers set. She makes them both obsolete, showing that her shades of grey and bad childhood give her more insight and experience in dealing with the youth. She’s a more logical fit for the adult and complex Scott, winds up replacing them both as a result, and does it with unparalleled panache.
Batwoman, for me, has been the answer to a prayer. A front and center character, not a cypher, not a team element, but a hyper-competent mover and shaker with real mythos-supported depth who also just happens to be gay. Total win, there. Northstar, the pioneer, was one of a group. His sexuality was a behind the stage controversy and it took three writing cycles to get him out. Afterwards, he got killed twice. I’d say because writers just didn’t want to deal with him, or editors, whatever.
Then came Extrano, the gay Guardian. As a teenaged gay, I wanted to hide back in the closet over him. He was like Super Steppin’ Fetchit to me. Grossly exaggerated, exponentially effeminate, suffering from AIDS, the works. I realize New Guardians was about people who became demi-gods and not superheroes, but the advancement of the character based on his preferences, while there were no classic style characters that were gay left me feeling as a reader rather marginalized.
Lots of experiments in between, to mixed results. THEN, came Kate Kane. This was a character I already had an affection for, as she was a total reboot of the original ’50s Batwoman, Kathy Kane.
She was also a compromise for us Babs Gordon Batgirl fans when she was busy being Oracle. AND she was openly gay AND was doing her thing because she was a victim of discrimination and this was her way of defending the masses against injustice, among other personal grudges. In the meantime, the gay marriage issue has become front and center, and comics have thrust themselves into it to a fault. Northstar got hitched.
Archie comics introduced Kevin Keller and in less than a year we got a time-machine invite to his wedding. Then, DC reintroduced Alan Scott as a gay man (and made damn sure the press knew about it), then, surprise-surprise- he’s getting married.
Now, Kate is set to follow suit with Maggie Sawyer, a 25 year gay character mainstay, whom she’s been dating for less than two years. Any comics reader with barely a pedigree knows that in comics time, that’s like two months maybe. In my lifetime, I’ve seen Superman marry Lois after a fifty year courtship. Peter married Mary Jane after roughly 30. Green Arrow and Black Canary, the same. Atom and Jean? Barry and Iris? At least a decade. The only short date-to-altar Super-hero scenario I can think of is Hawkeye and Mockingbird, and it was to underline their impulsive natures (and make them a ref to GA and BC). Now, Batwoman’s getting the fast track. Why? Because gay marriage gets sales and attention. PERIOD. Doing this as a stunt for press and accolades is like having a black character get shot in a hoodie and calling the NAACP to tell them about it. It’s opportunistic and shows me you don’t care about anything that’s been built with this character anymore. Not at all. Not to mention, every single marriage I’ve sited here is OVER. Re-booted out, or dissolved. Comics fans don’t really like married heroes. Some do, I’m sure, but that’s not really the norm. Characters like Animal Man are exempt, because they’re family men and established as such from the get-go. Reed and Sue in the same vein, and they were a couple from the first issue. Notice how all of the other Bat-family are single folk? Because matrimony would be the end of their careers. My theory? They’ll get married, and in less than five years, Maggie, one of the most venerated gay characters in the industry, will get killed.
It’s the perfect solution to the finite nature of supermarriage, and it’ll be the same device that’s done to Batman and other male characters where a loved one gets killed (usually a woman) to drive them deeper into mission obsession. OR they’ll adopt a baby and grab more press, then Kate will be thrust into single motherhood. Just watch. So now, we’ll get to lose an iconic character to follow through with a double standard bearing, sales-bump inducing story. I hope this time GLAAD will sit this one out and quit throwing awards every time a queer comics story makes the byline. This shouldn’t receive awards, it should receive indifference. The only characters getting married anymore seem to be gay, and it’s no longer noteworthy. Plus, it just appeals to folks who are already comfortable with the idea and challenges no one. Thanks for the effort, DC, in making this character who she WAS and supporting her. Next thought? How about a character introduced and handled by a great creative team, who we get to know as an a full-fledged super-hero complete with their own code of conduct, trappings, powers/weapons set, and then in say issue #5, we get introduced to their love interest, who just happens to be of the same gender? No preaching to the choir, setting a new standard, and actually integrating the concept into the ethos with no stereotype? I’d buy that.
NOTE: I’ve just learned that Alan Scott’s fiancee apparently got “fridged”, as they call it in the business, which is what I predicted for Maggie here.
DON’T STAY CLOSETED WITH YOUR OPINIONS-I’D LOVE TO HEAR THEM, DISCUSS THEM OR ARGUE THEM.
Karen Beecher came along in ’76 in the Teen Titans. OK, first, her name is not “Black Bumblebee”. Second, a Black Female character who is also a scientist AND developed her own tech. Third, she’s Mal Duncan’s girlfriend, and her powers set trumps his.Lastly, she looks KILLER in all of her visual variations. Win, win, win.
Mal was a (sorry, but…) token used to give weight to the late ’60s Teen Titans attempt to be socially relevant when they ditched their costumes and tried to be all revolutionary. He wound up becoming The Guardian when the group made a comeback complete with secret IDs once more, and that got done away with by his forgettable “Hornblower” persona, which to me, was as racially silly as the “weapons filled afro” dude from the Super Globetrotters.
The ‘bee was a scientist of color long before Mr. Terrific came along, and yet, has never been tapped as a substantial supporting character (moreso on the Young Justice cartoon than in comics), much less as a lead. She and Mal were briefly members of a short-lived Doom Patrol line-up, which was actually kinda cool. The whole reason the two of them made the cut was that Karen became trapped at a 4 inch height, and Mal, now called “Vox” had been impaled in the same disaster that rendered Karen to be stuck in the diminutive form, and needed a voice box to speak, which made them acceptable in the ‘incurable freak’ category of the Doom Patrol membership statement. In the New 52, neither have yet to be seen.
The current incarnation of The Titans is so forgettable and disconnected from what the team is even supposed to be about, and here we are with another member of the team who never even got the chance to get fleshed out and fully realized. Yet another female marginalized and ignored by a company that’s vision seems so distorted at this point, and so stubborn about expanding the horizons of their intellectual properties. Here we are with a character who stands out as a woman, a person of color, and a lovely blank palette just ready to be colored with creativity. Save the Bumblebee!
DON’T KEEP THE BUZZ TO YOURSELF- PLEASE COMMENT, DISCUSS, AND OFFER FEEDBACK!
I have strong opinions about women in comics. Sad fact is, in a male dominated field, they are often misrepresented, marginalized, misunderstood, and objectified in a completely erroneous manner that stunts their growth. I want them to be done right, and then be successful. Success brings them to greater platforms like TV and films, and that’s a barren field for the ladies right now. Some might think me sexist for saying this, but if a super-heroine doesn’t have fashion, she’s probably not going to have much of a career. I don’t care if that sounds sexist. I’m calling it as I see it, and I can back it up. More important is to understand the difference in fashion and fad. The goal of both major comic companies now is to get newbies on board, and if the character on the cover doesn’t tell them what they’re about, and give them a window to who they are, why would they care? Super fashion has to tell a story. It also has to suit the activity of the character. Too many details and too much busy-ness can be the death knell of a career, no matter how well written they might be. I’m going to be really brutal to DC in particular, because they NEED it and deserve it the most. Their dwindling sales are the writing on the wall, and I’m sorry, but Jim Lee was the most poorly thought-through choice ever for modifying the looks of the characters, in particular the women. I can make a case for that, too. Marvel has success lately, and I guarantee you, fashion HAS played a part in it. DC is leaning on fad. Art that’s fad doesn’t last; it never does. Everything about the predominant DCU at this point is visually myopic. All flash, and no class.
Here’s Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel. Note the fact that the costume is succinct in its defining of the character. “Superhero. Sci-Fi. Military.” Also, it can easily bleed to other media, like film, with no need to be over-tweeked. Jamie McKelvie, using his simple and elegant style has composed a visual that any halfway decent artist can render with minimal difficulty. It’s visually quick and is fashion over fad, with clean lines, and no excess. The consequence of this wise choice?
THIS. Not just one, but hundreds of them. They call themselves the “Carol Corps” and just guess who they are? The golden bough of readers- new and FEMALE. One look at the title, and it’s clear what it is about and they’re buying in. It’s luring, and makes an intimidated new reader feel ready. It lays out a visual welcome mat, and then the writing delivers. At a con recently, apparently the room flowed to a standing room only crowd, ready to talk Captain Marvel love. Also note how seamlessly the visual translates into the real world. Kudos.
Catwoman. Darwyn Cooke made the same thing happen with this character. One glance, and you get “Cat. Sultry. Stealthy.” It supports fashion AND function for the character, and again, you already know enough about the lady from seeing it to open the book and feel invited, without the arrogant assumption that you know her. The zipper ring is a great touch, and gives it pop without overwhelming the look. Purrrr-fect. Sad thing is, this was in place when the Catwoman film with Halle Barry came along. Yes, the plot was wretched, but one look at the trashy, busy, and ugly costume they came up with was enough to keep me away from the theater. Extra galling is how easily this look could’ve been adapted.
Power Girl. “Tough. Superhero. Unashamed.” I’ve seen articles where some feminists have bashed it, calling it a ‘boob window’, and sought that it be changed (which has been tried three times in the past and failed). The correct term is a cut-out and it’s a longstanding fashion element. I find it catty, and I don’t that it assumes that anyone who likes it is sexist. I’m not, not at all. I think women should make choices that are true to themselves and NOT to accommodate the projections of others. I’ve had it argued that it’s still risque, siting other visual examples. That’s the choice of the artist. Many choose to decide to amplify the bust factor. The fault is not that of Wally Wood, the designer. Do some guys drool over it? Sure. That doesn’t make it wrong. Further, it’s live-action ready. Powerful, defensible, and classic.
HONORARY MENTION: Power Boy. I’d be incomplete without addressing him real quick after the last one. His look sums him up too. “Narcissist. Bit of a Douche. Powerhouse.” The outfit is actually not half bad for super-hero fashion. This guy got cut the hell in half in less than a year. He was obviously made just to make a statement about “himbos”, but honestly I think he could’ve helmed a title. I’m serious, I’d love a well done comic about a quasi-hero who’s the butt of the joke. He’s even New Gods connected. Plus, he could chew up some screen scenery without a doubt. Hey, why not?
Saturn Girl. Love the character, love the mod, go-go-esque costume. Do not love the character in the costume. When she rose from being pretty much a cypher, we learned that she was a caring, warm, humble, and self-sacrificing woman. She’s also the Sue Storm of the Legion, as a founder, mother, and wife. It’s too flashy and risque for her. Her character would go for something more modest, and it only says “Saturn” to me, and doesn’t denote her heroic nature. Of course, it didn’t last a full decade (it made a slight latter day return, but when the Legion comes back-and it will- I bet it won’t be there).
Barbara Gordon, Batgirl. A case study in the importance of good fashion for the superhero women. First rendered here by the late Carmine Infantino. What does it say to me? “Look it’s Batgirl, see it’s Batgirl, no really it’s Batgirl.” I get it Carmine. The ears, the cape, the chest emblem, the emblem on the weapons bag (which I like, BTW), the belt buckle, the boots and the gloves tipped me off. All of the visual pyrotechnics are unnecessary and gaudy. The shape of the mask is jagged, and makes her look needlessly hard. Infantino was so-so with design, but he came up with the classic Black Canary look, so he gets a partial pass.
Hey there Miss Yvonne! Now, we’re talking. The mask points are made rounder and softer, and it makes her face look more open. The gloves and boots match the cowl, and the gaudiness subsides. This is how it had to be tweeked for the TV Set. Vrooooom!
Back in four- color land, Don Heck comes along and gives this cluster-f*ck just what it was missing. A starched collar. Robin had one too, but this is not Robin-Girl. It makes her look like a businesswoman. The grey shading starts to creep and take over. Just plain fuggly.
Where do you go from there? Hey, let’s make it sweatsuit grey and yellow and make those ears bigger than half her head, so there’s nary a trace of softness left. In the ‘70s, women like her were visually desexualized to the point that they looked like men with breasts. Bat-astrophe. In the ‘80s, there’s so much indifference about this character she’s pretty much invisible. In Crisis on Infinite Earths, she’s relegated to being a silly joke, to no outcry. Batgirl drops out in 1986, with the Crisis, then we all know what happened to Barbara next, thanks to a gunshot from the Joker. Batgirl was gone, and unfortunately most folks didn’t really care.
BATGIRL BEGINS! Now THAT’S more like it. Over in TV land, 6 years after she hung up her cowl in the comics, along comes Bruce Timm, a gifted cartoonist. Saints be praised. The ‘over-batting’ is gone. Just one emblem, and thanks to the addition of the matching cape, boots, cowl and gloves, the yellow ugh factor now makes the chest emblem pop. The mask is rounded down a’la “Batman ’66”, AND she now looks her age. The character comes over to the comic based on The Animated Series, to great response, even garnering a very successful oversized one shot. Character interest escalates beyond what it ever was before. DC responds in the mainstream universe with Batgirl flashbacks galore, including her own mini-series.
Wanna make it even cooler? Kill the grey, and now she doesn’t look like a wannabe juniorette Batman. She’s got her own thing going on. The black allows the yellow to come back and it fits perfectly. The two-tone cape is lovely. This is the blueprint for the “Batgirl: Year One” classic, which is a total hit with the fans (I’ll be damned if in the last issue, the big old buckle and bat-shaped boots don’t come back. Sigh.).
The Huntress. Stepping away from Babs for a sec, to illustrate the notion of fad and bad design. Here’s Bruce Timm doing an ill-fated Jim Lee look for the character. It’s top-heavy for one thing, and makes her face look jagged and unnecessarily harsh. It’s a sad, lukewarm S&M look. The open spaces make the character appear to be a narcissist, and that’s not the case at all. Also, I find it HIGHLY offensive that her crucifix, which was worn around her neck and emphasized that she was a Catholic which made sense as (in this canon) she was from an Italian mafia family, is now an accessory for such a cheap whorish look. Her personality is completely defied, and the uncovered body parts leave her, very obviously, open to attack. In TV or cinema, this would be nothing but sex farce. If Bruce T. can’t make it look good, you’re screwed. Sick, sexist, and ugly. FAIL EXPONENTIAL.
Cassandra Cain, Batgirl. So, DC realizes that folks now love Batgirl like they never did before. Babs is in a wheelchair, thanks to Mr.J, and is vital in other books. Their solution is a new character. The costume is bad-assed, but the youthful feminine charm is lost. The costume DOES say who she is, but it’s definitely reflective of the 90s, and not suited for the long haul. Slim chance for other mediums with this one. Cassie hangs out for a few years, and dies off from an apparent lack of interest.
Then, there’s Stephanie Brown, the next Batgirl. Let’s try this thing again. Too much of a too much. It’s not sleek and well lined. All of that padding is so unnecessary. Too bad, because the character inside is actually fun and great and bogged down by the minutiae.
Kate Kane, Batwoman. Hey, let’s just put another sassy redhead in a Bat-suit, so we can meet everybody half way. Good idea. The red and black is amazing, and it says “Bat. Badass. Woman.” Ready for ‘toons, or even the big screen. ‘Nuff said.
Meanwhile, over in Elseworlds, Thrillkiller Batgirl. Hot, but not a good idea in a knife fight. A- for fashion, B- for function (the lack of cape does make it a little more sensible than the rest of the gang), and a full scholarship for fanboy horniness. This version’s personality is a reckless, sensual wild card, so it actually does make sense.
Babs comes back again, in the New 52. The costume is back and it’s still pretty fussy (it had bolts on the chest in the first issue). It started out insanely busy, and I’m willing to bet it will ebb off more as time passes. It’s a step in the right direction with the annoying bat-belt being more subdued and not visually outweighing the emblem. The whole desire for her return would be impossible if not for the Bruce Timm contribution.
A lady with a lot of looks is Zatanna. The classic take. One look- “Magician. Female. Charming.” Yee-up.
Then, she becomes a real super-heroine. No bemoaning of the boob-window that I ever heard. Pretty simple, sorta blah (grey is just hard to pull off in four color land, it requires something to give it punch), but it does say “Sorceress. Super-heroine. Sexy.” Makes it about 5 years.
Then, came Perez. Good artist, a lacking designer usually, and was the go-to revamp guy for the company in the Eighties. A lobster on her head (?), the next use of that starchy collar (which is fine on a traditional magician costume), and those big ol’ Z earrings are pretty dreadful. This is also a strong example of busy artists making busy costumes. Only they can even halfway render them. Other artists strengths and weaknesses have to be considered. The Captain Marvel, Timm Batgirl costume, and even the Power Girl costumes are hard for the lamest of talents to screw up. Not ready for prime time, at all. Again, didn’t survive a decade, and the character pretty much vanished for a few years. Where’s her big comeback? The Animated Series, once again, and back to the classic look. Soon after, she started up all over the place and in flashbacks with the League, this outfit gets ret-conned out. Her own series comes shortly thereafter.
New 52, and damned if I don’t actually kinda love it. The hair especially. It takes the best elements from the previous looks, and incorporates them beautifully. High crimefighter fashion. “Super-heroine. Magician. Confident.” They got it right, here. It can cross media lines of all stripes. I guarantee that if DC doesn’t fold, this could last for decades.
Wonder Woman. Arguably, the most controversial costume of the lot. Loudly says “American. Princess. Outdated.” Nostalgia is fine, but objectively it’s not very good, and it’s pretty silly. Here we are again with Timm, and it’s still just a lame bikini. How do you update an multi-media icon and leave her recognizable??
Simple, you hire an artist like Darwyn Cooke, again a cartoonist, who barely tweeks it and you get “Strong. Proud. Anachronistic Warrior.” Simple and here again, a cartoon based artist who using classic style makes a design that can be followed, and used in any media. *slow clap*
So, what do we get instead? We almost got freakin’ KNEE PADS. Seriously. What we ended up with is an outfit with a washed out and blah color scheme, a needless arm band that has no function and is redundant with the emblem- which on the camisole is reduced to bling, and a suit that’s overall message is ‘stars’. It arrogantly assumes that the approacher knows who the character is, it makes no sense as an armor, and those little lines on the red of the torso are subject to the artist who gets stuck with them. It’s obvious in the context that it’s not Cliff Chaing’s work, as his offerings are more spacious and spartan, so it conflicts with it’s environs. All that detailed business would look silly in live action. This is why detail driven and over-drawing artists fail at designing. Again, cartoonists and classic stylists know how to make threads that are universally renderable and convey the essence of the characters that wear the designs.
Good ol’ Raven. I rag on George, but he did this right. “Mystical. Bird-themed. Not a hand-to-hand combatant.” The big circles would be the detractor in ‘real life’, but it still gets a pass. Right on the money, Sir Perez.
OK, so the sprite here is what kids are being sold on the hugely popular “Teen Titans GO!” series on Cartoon Network. The other is the new-look Raven from DC. Ok, not only is it mo-fuggly, but just how would they expect a kid to graduate from beloved cartoon characters to this unrecognizable mess?? It’s so faddy, it hurts. Needlessly horrific, is what it is. It takes a mysterious but feminine character and evolves her into a monster. Sick and stupid. Total fail. No new reader, especially a female or a child of any gender, is going to be drawn in by this. It will not last to see the dawn of 2016, I’d bet you good money.
What needs to happen? DC needs to look at PRESENT DAY Marvel, and where the quantifiable successes are. Marvel’s taking home the lion’s share, and with lots of good reasons. Understand, I love DC. It’s what I cut my teeth on. I do not, however, think they are making sound choices now. These examples are a statement about the culture that’s dominating (and failing) right now. DC is the classic company, the pioneer. Yet, they seem to be adhering themselves visually to the busy, over-drawn, needlessly exaggerated style of the 1990s that was very much a Marvel ideology at that time. It didn’t last because it was a total fad. People got burned out and abandoned it. Fashion is art, and art is what lasts, when it sees itself as fashion. The lesson? Hire simple, cartoon based designers when you want a product that will endure, and allow the character to prosper. Save the Super-Heroines!
PLEASE LEAVE ANY FEEDBACK/COMMENTS/DISCUSSION POINTS YOU MIGHT HAVE. I LOVE TO CHAT.
As an element, Diana Prince has been eliminated from Wonder Woman’s world and brought back cyclically throughout the character’s history. Her name was actually imbued into the title during the ’70s Emma Peel-aping-powerless stint, to mixed reaction from critics all the way to the present. As I’ve stated before, I kind of dug it. DP actually started off kind of incredulously (consider the period) as a nurse who had an uncanny resemblance to the Princess of Paradise herself, who needed out of her station in life to go be with her family. The heroine took over her identity to be closer to her ailing would-be-beau Steve Trevor, recovering in the hospital from crash damage. Later in the period, Wonder Woman rescues Diana from her abusive husband, who WW helps reform from his anti-social ways. Diana gives up nursing to become Steve’s secretary so she can keep her perpetual dude-in-distress safe from his hobby of nearly getting himself killed. This vocation lasted until the Silver Age, when Di returned to nursing. She wound up a boutique owner in the aforementioned de-powered incarnation (!) in a rare instance of Amazon vanity. Upon her return, the series shortly moved back to WW2 to reflect the feel of the popular TV show. When canon returned to the present, she was back in the military and remained as such until the Crisis did her in. When she was rebuilt by Len Wein and George Perez, the secret ID vanished in total. William Messner-Loebs took over and in his debut, DP was a wealthy gadfly, which I thought was pretty fun. It only lasted a single issue, then vanished after WML got past his desire to make the title more of a superhero book. Her next comeback was the Allan Heinberg moment on the title, this time as an agent of the Department of Extranormal Operations. She was actually a powerless character here as well, due to a spell from Circe, who wanted to show the woman what it was like to be human. This concept remained until the New 52, where outside of her title, Superman talked her into the notion to give her a private life as of my last reading.
My issue in regards to the glasses wearing alter-ego is vocation. None of the above suit her in my opinion, because they don’t allow her the needed ability to disappear for any length of time without realistically losing her gig. Superman being a reporter allows him this liberty, and Batman has no schedule to maintain as a billionaire philanthropist. Some versions of the character establish her to be independently wealthy, falling back on a bag of gold from her mama which was actually a device originally employed by Marv Wolfman for her then-sister Wonder Girl to explain her lavish lifestyle. When that’s not in place, a girl’s gotta eat. That in mind, I think I have a potential solution for this pickle. Bear with me, because it may seem strange or outlandish when I say it, but I’ll give you some support to think it through. What if Diana Prince was to be… an ARTIST?
As I go on about ad nauseum in this blog, I think core concepts should be creatively updated and kept. Strategizing and bringing new life should be the goal, in my mind. What do you think?
Saving Wonder Woman 
