Developing a character to expedite the story quickly to deliver the movement in a comic/cartoon/movie in regards to a superhero(ine) should involve directness and speed. For me, the five tenets of great comic fare are: action, drama, horror, comedy, and sexiness, with a hefty bonus for great art. The focus of this blog, obviously, is Wonder Woman. No secret if you’ve read other posts is my desire to see the original mythos of the Golden Age Era be given modern sensibilities, and return the uniqueness of the icon while getting away from the flaccidity of the Sword And Sorcery trope- i.e. “Red, White, And Blue Sonja”. A lot of creators over the years (starting with Wein, Perez, and Newell in the 1980s) relegated that material to being silly and regressive. Those of us in the know realize that belief is bassackwards. Here’s an imagining I have for using the 1940s trappings with the eye of the now, delivering a quick view inside her head without requiring an excessive amount of steps:
Two pages with a repitition- three horizontal bars, split in the middle. A set of youthful female eyes on the left with blue shading, a ‘la the cast of a video screen. On the right, a different image.
Panel One: the eyes are wide with curiosity/excitement at the image of a diverse college campus, complete with hipsters, jocks, sorority girls, etc.
Panel Two: eyes of wide horror as a political hostage blindfolded execution occurs.
Panel Three: eyes of fascination at a couture fashion runway show.
Panel Four: eyes squinting with laughter at a cartoon rabbit dressed in drag.
Panel Five: eyes veer to the side in blush-y embarrassment at the image of a chiseled Hollywood actor dressed as a Demi-God.
Panel Six: eyes filled with warlike rage at the image of a Street-Pimp grasping the wrist of a hooker, punching her in the face with the other hand.
Page Three: to the left stands Menillipe, Oracle of the Amazons, with her hands folded to the front, arms dropped, with long white robes and a soft smile. In the center, a glowing, floating sphere with images floating through it. To the right, Queen Hyppolyta in her green bejeweled halter, arm directing to the Magic Sphere, scar through her palm from the blood she spilled in the clay to form her child saying “Diana, Princess Of Paradise… Welcome to The WORLD”.
The stage is set, and the story is ready to move with the original settings back in play.
OK, so you have been picked as a headhunter for The Justice League. They have ONE slot to fill, and the current roster is: Superman, Batman, The Flash, Green Lantern, and Cyborg. You have TWO potential members to pick from in your queue. GO:
1) An anachronistic warrior, extremely skilled in the art of war (sorta like Batman, only better). Weapon of choice is a broadsword. Raised by a hidden, immortal, and ancient warrior culture, and left it due to wanderlust. Brash member of royalty (sort of like Aquaman), at times a bit arrogant. Unrepentantly kills enemies, if deemed necessary. Has first-hand knowledge of the Greek Pantheon. Very, very strong (but less than Superman).
2) Freedom-Fighter from an ancient and immortal culture more advanced in medicine, magic, science and technology, arts and humanities than any other on the planet due to an edict from their gods. Has an accessory that allows some level of telepathy, and to scan the happenings of the entire world. Controls an invisible flying vessel that can carry multiple passengers with total stealth, and can be morphed into virtually any vehicle imaginable, including offensive weaponry. Wears device that can translate and interpret any language. Main weapon can extract the truth from any enemy, as well as subdue them. Innately kind and humble, and capable of being perfect as a diplomat and confidante to anyone. Believes in total reform and always attempts to help, rehabilitate, or reform an enemy before reacting with battle. Once forced, a superhuman level of fighting skill, prowess, and strength are issued on the target. Works to change the world into utopia, and is constantly challenged as such.
If I were YOU, I’d not only pick #2 as a member, but I’d nominate them for leadership. Oh, before I forget- BOTH are intoxicatingly beautiful women, and a majority of the non-comic reading population knows the second one- sounds like the kind of character you might even make a MOVIE about.
In the early 2000s, billionaire Hershell Rich, the appropriately named industrialist went on a safari in North Africa. On his journey, he came upon a cheetah twice it’s normal size and poached it. Unbeknownst to him, he had in fact killed the avatar of the tribe of Urzkartaga, who worshipped a primal Cheetah-God of the same name. Chuma, a dwarfed member of the tribe was designated to carry out the tribe’s revenge. Being a master of stealth and subterfuge, he infiltrated Rich’s camp and managed to stow himself un-noticed in their wares. He even made the journey overseas back to the states inside the cargo deck of the plane, and made it all the way to Rich’s estate, a sprawling compound on a large hill in Gateway City, where he would live for years un-noticed inside the leviathan property. In pocket doors, closets, and nooks he observed the Rich family and laid his plans. By means of poisoning using archaic jungle-derived plant extracts he killed Hershell’s wife through her coffee (cause of death was found to be anaphylaxis resulting from an unknown allergy), leaving behind Hershell and his young daughter, infamous wild-child icon Priscilla “Prissy” Rich. Entering her 20s, Prissy was known for wild partying, extravagant spending, ‘accidental’ sex video leaks, and rampant self-marketing via everything from reality tv to cosmetic lines.
Over the next couple of years, Chuma was stealthily manipulating the young Ms. Rich. Putting oils from the plant said to carry the very essence of Urzkartaga into her drinks and performing archaic rituals in her room, Priscilla’s already jealous and caustically elitist personality became more and more amplified accompanied with abrupt mood swings. Diagnosed Bi-Polar by the family psychiatrist, she was medicated for her raged mania to little avail, carrying the secret that she was hearing voices and seeing strange movements in the night.
Then came Wonder Woman. A new figure of obsession in Gateway City, a beautiful and compassionate woman with super powers who took the city by storm. Her largely emotionally unavailable father developed a fixation on this fantastic creature and was determined to find a way to captivate her through sudden over-the-top philanthropy endeavors and a high profile visible presence. Priscilla’s boosted jealousy reached a boiling point mixed with the bizarre goings-on of her mind. One night as she sat in front of her bedroom mirror, her own reflection began speaking to her, telling her to take charge and exact revenge on her unfair life. Upon instruction, Priscilla went to her father’s enormous trophy room and found the taxidermy head of the giant beast and placed it on her head. Instantly, the spirit of Urzkartaga filled her mind, body, and soul. Next from his vast weapons collection, she found two fists worth of silver rings with curved claw-hooks he’d bought on one of his retreats. That night, when Hershell returned from an event, a lithe body with the head of his prized kill moved at him with lightning speed and ripped him to shreds on one of the decks behind the home in a very disturbingly and thorough fashion, leaving the police to begin hunting for a vicious animal throughout the area.
After Mr. Rich’s estate settlement, Priscilla was called to a meeting at Rich International with chairwoman Helen Sekowsky to discuss terms of a buyout. Sitting across a long table from her, Priscilla leapt to her feet and onto the long table and scurried to the far end in a matter of about 5 seconds landing her face an inch away from the board’s leader with a terrifying feral gaze leaving a thinly veiled threat to her about her role as a publicly ‘silent partner’ to the company’s controlling body and the understanding that any attempt to undermine her would incur strong loss in her personal life extending onto her families. Ms. Sekowsky is now her underling, giving her access to world-wide resources from weapons to agricultural products.
In Priscilla, Urzkartaga has found not only a powerfully connected body to share, but an avatar of power it had never known before. Any time someone buys a magazine with her face on the cover, downloads a video, or buys her fashions and make-up, Priscilla’s cult of personality works it’s way up to the Cheetah-God itself and increases it’s magic. This makes him even more empowered than Zeus himself at this stage of the game. Using her incredible speed, strength and weaponry in her first brutal attack on Wonder Woman, The Cheetah left the Amazing Amazon covered in deep wounds and breathless. The ancient siren-witch Circe decided to take her on for damaging her favorite ‘toy’ with a horde of her Beasteomorphs, who all threw themselves on their backs in total submission. The witch is now fairly terrified of her, and realizes she must help Diana any way she can in ridding the world of this creature.
The Cheetah can move at roughly 100 miles per hour, and her limbs travel in battle to a total blur. She is skilled with virtually any ancient weapon ranging from spears to blow-guns and swords. When she appears, animals in her presence go into a frenzy adding to the chaos. Her avatar mask can only be removed by Priscilla/Urzkartaga itself. Aside from her own abilities, she leans heavily on her servant Chuma to use his talents for stealth and espionage, as well as her lacky Ms. Sekowsky to do her global bidding. Whereas Diana is here to elevate society as the first step in bringing the Utopia of Themiscyra to it, Priscilla is her diametric opposite who seeks to raze society, destroy it’s trappings and sit at the throne in a world of jungle-law. Wonder Woman has no idea who the lady behind the mask is, as she is even impervious to the powerful magic lasso of truth. The Cheetah is clear in her intent of mass death and destruction, and Diana has realized her only option in the future is to stop her even if it means outright killing her.
This is my concept for two Wonder Woman villains from the 1940’s. Neither ever got a proper update on their origins with all explanations intact, and I like the idea of them being a twosome.
In the backwoods of Eastern Kentucky, Doris “Dori” Zool and Michael “Mick” Mosely hit the road in a stolen car and head for the open road. The pair of drug addled and hard drinking 18 year olds immediately descend into a joy-killing spree and staying one step ahead of the law, even taking down a couple of cops in the process (which they enjoy immensely).
Making their way to New Mexico, the pair stumbles upon a small group of Native Americans who have built a makeshift separatist community, complete with a seemingly ancient Medicine Woman. Biding their time until night-fall, the two singlehandedly murder the entire group. Raiding their shanty-town, they discover a bevy of what appear to be dried mushrooms and strange powders in the old woman’s domicile. Not being the most safety conscious (or particularly educated) people, they decide to ingest and snort anything in sight.
When they awake the next morning, Dori finds herself nearly 40 feet tall and cannot find Mickey anywhere. Finally, she hears his voice very faintly and discovers he’s inside her ear and is roughly 12 inches tall. Convinced they are still tripping on their stolen merchandise for a while, they discover they can change to normal size at will. After a day, they realize this is not a drug-induced hallucination. In addition, when Dori grows to her tallest size, she becomes invulnerable. When Mick shrinks, he can throw a punch like a regular sized man’s impact and leap incredibly high.
Deciding this is the best thing ever, they make way to the nearest town, hit a department store and begin wreaking havoc. Dori decides that in giant size she reminds herself of a lady she saw on a late night horror show, and decides a tiger striped bikini/sarong combo with sandals would make her look great as a giant. Mick walks off with a pair of children’s mouse ears and some cool sunglasses to go with his new powers-set. They take the names Giganta and Mouse-Man and head up the coast to Gateway City, where a certain Amazon is getting ready to have her hands full…
As an element, Diana Prince has been eliminated from Wonder Woman’s world and brought back cyclically throughout the character’s history. Her name was actually imbued into the title during the ’70s Emma Peel-aping-powerless stint, to mixed reaction from critics all the way to the present. As I’ve stated before, I kind of dug it. DP actually started off kind of incredulously (consider the period) as a nurse who had an uncanny resemblance to the Princess of Paradise herself, who needed out of her station in life to go be with her family. The heroine took over her identity to be closer to her ailing would-be-beau Steve Trevor, recovering in the hospital from crash damage. Later in the period, Wonder Woman rescues Diana from her abusive husband, who WW helps reform from his anti-social ways. Diana gives up nursing to become Steve’s secretary so she can keep her perpetual dude-in-distress safe from his hobby of nearly getting himself killed. This vocation lasted until the Silver Age, when Di returned to nursing. She wound up a boutique owner in the aforementioned de-powered incarnation (!) in a rare instance of Amazon vanity. Upon her return, the series shortly moved back to WW2 to reflect the feel of the popular TV show. When canon returned to the present, she was back in the military and remained as such until the Crisis did her in. When she was rebuilt by Len Wein and George Perez, the secret ID vanished in total. William Messner-Loebs took over and in his debut, DP was a wealthy gadfly, which I thought was pretty fun. It only lasted a single issue, then vanished after WML got past his desire to make the title more of a superhero book. Her next comeback was the Allan Heinberg moment on the title, this time as an agent of the Department of Extranormal Operations. She was actually a powerless character here as well, due to a spell from Circe, who wanted to show the woman what it was like to be human. This concept remained until the New 52, where outside of her title, Superman talked her into the notion to give her a private life as of my last reading.
My issue in regards to the glasses wearing alter-ego is vocation. None of the above suit her in my opinion, because they don’t allow her the needed ability to disappear for any length of time without realistically losing her gig. Superman being a reporter allows him this liberty, and Batman has no schedule to maintain as a billionaire philanthropist. Some versions of the character establish her to be independently wealthy, falling back on a bag of gold from her mama which was actually a device originally employed by Marv Wolfman for her then-sister Wonder Girl to explain her lavish lifestyle. When that’s not in place, a girl’s gotta eat. That in mind, I think I have a potential solution for this pickle. Bear with me, because it may seem strange or outlandish when I say it, but I’ll give you some support to think it through. What if Diana Prince was to be… an ARTIST?
First, it’s a great field for someone to have who needs a lack of time accountability. Second, it’s a potentially interesting way to balance out the violent world she often inhabits. An outlet, if you will. Third, I would think sculpting, painting, etc. would show an image of a woman who grew up in a (formerly, anyway) cultured and advanced society. Fourth, it further demonstrates the inherent genius and versatility of the character. Lastly, I would say the core of the lady is quite liberal, as are a healthy majority of those in the field. She was a social reform supporter in her original vein, and in Perez’s tenure an ambassador of peace to ‘Man’s World’. I think sculpture especially would refer to her heritage quite well, and I think the gentle side of the character needs to be illustrated, and this could do it. Plus, eccentricity would be expected from the general public and I picture her at street level coming off as such.
As I go on about ad nauseum in this blog, I think core concepts should be creatively updated and kept. Strategizing and bringing new life should be the goal, in my mind. What do you think?
Save Diana Prince!
NO NEED TO CHANGE CLOTHES AND PUT ON GLASSES- YOU CAN COMMENT/COMPLAIN/PRAISE/DISCUSS JUST AS YOU ARE!
I originally did a post about this subject that was actually a bit hasty and not so thought out. I got a great single criticism for it, and when I delved into the respondent’s comments I realized that I wasn’t really looking at the situation with total self-honesty. That’s why I gave it a total re-write with a more fully realized take on the matter.
Who would you choose to give your love to if you were Superman? Would you pick Lois Lane, Wonder Woman, or neither? I’m just saying neither because it’s always an option, but it’s probably not one that’s going to be offered. In simpler times, it was examined ad nauseum. Lori Lemaris, Lana Lang, Luma Lynai, and every other girl who initialed her documents like Lex Luthor (I left out Barda, who he made a porno flick with. He was under mind-control then) got an issues worth of wooing. These days, it always boils down the former two. On the one hand, there’s Lois, the first and foremost. You know her, but here’s a sketch in case you were looking for a way back to your lost world online and Googled the word alien and ended up here: Earth woman, very assertive and empowered, diligent reporter who is very interested in seeking out and exposing truth at any cost, fearless, apparently pretty attractive, and is portrayed in most cases as being very balanced in terms of anima/animus. Wonder Woman? Depends on canon, so let’s go with a composite: Somewhat otherworldly, very assertive and empowered, diligent fighter, crusader for truth, gorgeous, very balanced in terms of anima/animus, not very likely to get killed by anything less than cosmic-level threat, wears costume and belongs to team of other superheroes that he belongs to as well. Well, I actually don’t have an answer I like when I look at it that way. Not the one I want to give, anyhow.
What do I want the answer to be? Lois OR neither. What I’m not into is Clark and Diana. Not NOW anyway. I was, back in 1988 when Action Comics #600 came out. The story is classic. After a few months of buildup, the two finally meet through parties close to the lady who contact Clark Kent, and task him with setting up a rendezvous. They meet at night in a private spot and immediately, they lock in a passionate embrace and kiss. This actually takes place before the issue, and when we open the cover to the actual book in question, we see a look of wide-eyed horror on Di’s face. Not good. Darkseid shows up and rudely interrupts their date and when it resumes the consensus is that he’s a doey-eyed farmer boy and she’s a nigh-goddess member of royalty and that a romance would be Super-ficial. Done. I, as a hormonally led teeny bopper was almost apoplectic. They gave up THAT easy? Not even a second date?? I felt robbed. The main reason for my zeal was how enthused I was about both of these characters. It was a brave new world then. Supes was a year into the classic John Byrne revamp, with Diana the same but with George Perez. They were exciting times, and I wanted even more excitement. There was Lois in the background, fairly devastated, and I did feel sorry for her, no doubt. Still, I thought a year of this at least could be smashing fun. Throughout the canon thereafter, the specter was there, stronger and lesser depending on the time, but never quite gone. I had some hope throughout and it morphed into incredulousness. Clark married Lois in two venues of media, and it STILL bugged me. She just seemed like the right choice and no one wanted to admit it. The creative decision concerning the pair was that they would become very best friends. This only happened, of course, when it was in HER book. External to that, it was either Bats or Jimmy or whoever. Still just seemed like a way to side-step something so damned obvious; in fact, bursting at the seams. In one storyline, the JLA winds up trapped on Asgard for a THOUSAND years. He’s with her the whole time, and nothing happens at all. They return at the time on Earth that they left, and he tells Mrs. Kent nothing. She finds out from Di, who proceeds to tell her that for that whole 10 centuries, he never stopped talking about Lois. Sweet? Sure. I loathe that story just the same. See, I want my Superman human, and given that we KNEW he was attracted to the princess, it made him seem ridiculous. Further, who would even want to be loved THAT hard? I mean, it’s easy to say, but if your partner was trapped somewhere for a thousand years would you not be wigged out by the fact that they never stopped blabbing about you, or didn’t stray with arguably the most attractive person alive, as beautiful as Aphrodite? I’d have to say I appreciate the gesture, but that doesn’t even seem right or righteous. Pragmatic little me, I guess. Diana had even stated that she was a know-nothing fool when she shunned him for being a hick. Again, super-human is fine, inhuman is another affair altogether.
So what’s my beef with the joining finally taking place? I’m not as much angry as I am apathetic, where the two central figures are concerned. I gave them a year to wow me. I went in with the excitement I had back around ’87, to be honest. I was ready for a new golden dawn, and was frankly getting bored with the DC Universe in general. So many Crises, an erratic, constantly re-tooled JLA, JSA was not the same after Johns left, Wonder Woman was rutted to distraction, and it needed to go fresh. Others whined when the news came out, but not me. I was totally the cheerleader. I finished my first issues with some hope and some concerns. I gave it a year, then I just decided I wasn’t into it at all, for reasons I can’t begin to cover here. I view it peripherally now, mainly online, some reviews and previews, and scans at the comic shop. Moreover, I have not seen Wonder Woman develop to the point that I want her sucked into a romance-action title. I don’t even know who she is yet, and from what I’m reading, no one else seems to either. The ire I have is, as usual, with company Creative and the tentacles of Warner Brothers. They made no secret before the line was launched that Supes wouldn’t be hooking up with Lois and that would leave time for Diana; totally pre-asserted. I felt my eighteen year old self stirring in newfound anticipation and by the time the story was set up, I was over it, and it’s nature as a flaccid marketing ploy was pathetically obvious. There’s a definite lack of excitement about it everywhere I’ve looked. I’ve seen no one voice a note of zeal or endorsement about this new title, it’s very “because NO ONE demanded it!”. Further, I’ve spent the better part of 40 years awaiting the return of Sensation Comics. Only seemed fair the the distaff Trinity member should have a second title to expand her mythos with. Now, it’s gonna be another damned Superman book. That kind of makes me ill. My ONLY hope, were I still invested, would be that when the relationship inevitably crumbles it would become a World’s Finest team with her in place of Ol’ Pointy Ears. I guess that’s something, even if it’s ultimately too little, too late.
So, as stated, he could choose nothing. Does he need an ongoing lover? Some heroes have them, some don’t. Some have slews of romantic liaisons, so why couldn’t he just be a serial monogamist? I don’t see him ever being loose or the cheating two-timer (though these days, who knows…) but it might be interesting for a few years to see him deal with a berth of different women of different stripes both as Clark and his high-flying alter ego to show us some decent character examination.
Of course, in the end it’s got to be the reporter. It just does. Again, the staff made it clear that this relationship wasn’t going to be there in the reintroduced story-line. Makes sense, given the marriage of the previous one. Super-hero marriages don’t usually make it for the longest haul, and are usually scratched when revamps occur. They were hitched for 15 years after dating for 60, so I think waiting a while to jump back in wasn’t really a bad decision. I do know that editors and writers are keeping Ms. Lane in the front of the bus story-wise, and that’s good. No matter the relationship, she should be there. What route will it take when the day comes? No idea, and I hope by then shifting will occur that re-invests me in the line so I can watch and enjoy. As far as versions go, I’m very enamored of the on-screen relationship from “Man of Steel”. I like the idea of Lois being the one who knows Clark, the real one- not the glasses wearing buffoon whose daily proximity to her makes her look like a fool. The dynamic therein is so intimate and understandable. That relationship is unfortunately not what’s been set up in the root media here. When they do come together, will it be fresh and exciting, or will it be more of the same from 75 years? Hopefully not. I’ve had this little idea for a few years now on how to spice up the affair. Allow me to be totally self-indulgent and lay it on you. Bear with me, and don’t dismiss it from the first sentence, please. What if they gave LL a little super-power? When I say a super-power, I don’t mean make her more like him, not at all.
Don’t make her a card-carrying super-heroine. I’m thinking something VERY specific, and it’s not a power that would make her every day advantaged by a long shot, and would embellish the nature of their union. Here goes: what if, by some accident earthly or otherwise, Lois developed an immunity to all things Kryptonian? What if she couldn’t be penetrated by heat or x-ray vision? What if, when slapped by one of the former natives, it was like she was being slapped by a human? If Kal catches her falling from a building they could both fall to their deaths, since he would be vulnerable and unable to fly when physical connection=loss of flight=no more damsel in distress. When in his woman’s arms, he’s a normal man, and only then. She’s the only person he’s truly human with. There’s some heart for you. If he goes rogue, she might be the only one on Earth who can subdue him and kick his Super-ass. Supergirl smarts off? Pop her one. Krypto misbehaves-grab that mongrel by the scruff and spank his tail. It takes away the archaic elements of our girl. It makes her free from the prying nature of her lover’s powers, even when unintentional. It makes the relationship itself more multi-faceted, and levels the playing field. The idea is pregnant with prospective story lines. Lois gets brought in by a covert agency to avert Kryptonian threats. Possessed or controlled Lois is the enemy he can’t beat with infinite advantage when she ambushes him, and she’s off the radar of his empowered ears. Phantom Zone jail-break? Here’s your next line of defense. She’d still be subject to being preyed upon by the average super-villain, and would have to use her noggin. Superman showing up to save the day would mean NO physical contact for him to get the job done with yellow-sun dependent abilities. No more carrying her to the skies, just two lovers on a stroll, holding hands. I could go all day.
There are so many needless revisions and omissions going on in mainstream comics re-boots these days, and few really fuel new and exciting aspects of the characters they would have us to believe they are trying to improve. I want character driven, not just sales driven and everything that’s happening seems so transparent and faddish. I guess to some extent it’s been that way for a long time, it just seems so much more-so now, and maybe that’s just the hell of wisened aging. Seems like a hefty amount of readers are seeing it too, and they could be in the same boat. Maybe it’s a little of all. I think if the people behind the decisions looked at the heaps of material that’ve become legend and are selling at 75 bucks a pop in Absolute editions and such, they’d see that stepping back from the hard-sell and letting creative types bring flair to older concepts like the Kent/Lane love story, they’d get a more devoted and excited audience. I haven’t abandoned hope, I’m just holding onto my wallet until something wows me back into the fold. Save the Super-Love!
LEAVE ME A LOVE NOTE OR A BREAK-UP LETTER- I LOVE FEEDBACK.
This is actually the impetus for the whole site. It’s a labor of love, with many angles and some strong emotions for me, personally. I’ve loved the titular character of this blog from before kindergarden. I’ve followed her on a monthly basis for almost 40 years. I’ve waited breathlessly for her show to debut, and each episode thereafter. I’ve anxiously awaited any portrayal of her in any media, to some excitement and lots of disappointment. I’ve bought toys galore. I’ve spent good money over bad for my fix, even when I really didn’t have the capital to do so. In recent years, it has become a major frustration for me, and I’ve analyzed why to the Nth degree, and this is my dissection, observation, and potential solutions. I hope you enjoy.
A TARGET OF MUCH DISCUSSION
I’ve taken to scanning a lot of comments about Wonder Woman lately. They are as varied as those about sports teams. Some I’m with, many I’m not. Here’s a sampling, with my responses that I’ll fortify later: “Comic fans are sexist, and won’t give her a chance.” Nope, not buying it. For one, I run a fan group page, and there’s so much love for her it’s astounding. Second, when DC announced the coming of the New 52, without a doubt I can say that fan excitement over Wonder Woman’s new title was through the roof. It was everywhere about Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang’s forthcoming take. Third, check out the internet and see how many articles/sites/groups there are about her. As the song says “All The World Is Waiting For You…”. I don’t blame fans, I blame creators. PERIOD. Also, in regards to sexism, Marvel has Captain Marvel, drawing in new fans, a large portion of which are female. “They should take her back to Perez era, and make her an ambassador for peace”. Not with you there, either. More later, but in a nutshell, Perez told his story sum and full. Totally. It wouldn’t be honoring the intent of the character, it would be back-peddling. As stated, MUCH more to follow. “I don’t know this character anymore.” Bingo! No one does, and again, it falls to Creative. This character is so blurry at this point, there’s no consensus. She’s been failed and revamped to no avail repeatedly. Every creator tries to undo the previous one and make it something new, and for some reason she winds up in the same pigeon-hole with even more inconsistencies and loosening of definition and purpose than before. The wheel has been recreated with stunning pace. Most galling is, like most characters, if you just go to the start to find the intention, see how it got lost, and then see how to bring it home again, it’s all right there. Let’s start from the start.
THE GOOD DOCTOR AND WOMEN
Charles Moulton, nee Dr. William Moulton Marston, is largely known for his sexual proclivities. Let’s get them out of the way first, if we must. He was into the bondage thing, and it showed in his stories. No argument. He had multiple wives and partners under the same roof. The same, and done. OK, now we can look at the rest. He believed in a principle of womanhood that involved matriarchy, with a fulfillment therein. The belief was that women were the only people who could save the world. Man would have to surrender totally, then women could undo their bellicose ways and make peace. Simple. It would take submission for us to get there, but then we could move toward Utopia. Paradise Island, it’s inhabitants, and Diana were borne of his logic. The island was not just a retreat for a weary bunch of women, it was a god(s) given place, where the Amazons were expected by their deities to make magic. Over centuries, these immortal gals created an atmosphere of magic, joy, love, as well as advancements in science and medicine. They were way ahead of our curve on every level. It’s this arena that was the groundwork for who Diana would be. The first incarnation of the character had an arsenal of tech. The invisible jet, a ‘mental radio’, earrings that allowed her to speak and interpret other tongues (and in some cases breathe underwater), and a lasso of pure godly magic. She was totally tricked out. The strength, speed, agility, and such were there, but they weren’t the sole source of her power by a long-shot. She was strong enough to pick up the back-end of a car to stop it from moving, but she couldn’t pick it up over her head and throw it or some-such. No flying or the like, either. Her mission, set in play by Col. Trevor’s plane crash and need for a lift home, was to be a freedom-fighting ambassador to the world. The first emissary from the race that could, and probably would, one day save us all from ourselves. One of the major ways she outdid her peers in this shade was how she handled her totally female population of foes. Upon apprehension, she would bring them to an island her “sisters” set up for her called Reform Island, where the anti-social were to be rehabbed. It was often successful. Paula Von Gunther, an Axis agent close to Hitler, ended up there and became a vital part of the Amazon science community and stayed in continuity way past the Golden Age model; the Cheetah got a new lease on life too, as did others. This was a marvelous component for showing Di as the great reformer and not just a generic crime-fighter. She got results as a social justice wunderkind. What ended up happening was the retirement of the good Doc from the book, and then the issue that was her Achilles heel from day one became the focus for years: her strange over-the-top borderline obsessive love for Steve Trevor. Her title morphed overnight into a romance book, then a pale silly imitation, a karate driven espionage book, a tv show adaptation, ending as a dark looking book with a cypher lead. Then, a cosmic Crisis with our heroine turned back to the clay she came from, the end. Next, George Perez.
GEORGE PEREZ: CREATOR, OR DESTROYER?
After the Crisis, Diana was a blank canvas ready for a new palette. The hottest artist in the DC camp, George Perez, was tapped to draw with industry vet Len Wein behind the keyboard. They attacked it with great aplomb. What they engineered was a truly cinematic take on the lady. It was not a superhero book anymore. It had a sense of identity that set it apart from the other titles, literally and figuratively. Other characters from the DCU were barely given notice nor presence. Paradise Island was now Themiscyra, keeping it with the Greek. Amazon science was now absent. Steve Trevor was a older man, who’s connection was a strange one in regards to Diana. His mom had crash landed on the Isle back in the ’40s and saved an Amazon from a monster that crawled out of the basement of the venue, where all evil mythological creatures were kept with the women in charge of their incarceration as punishment for falling to the evil ways of man and getting themselves enslaved. Diana Trevor lost her life and became the person WW was named after. The mission was back to Ambassador, and again, not super-heroine, not one bit. Rather than Washington, DC, Diana was mystically transported with Steve (no Invisible Jet this time) to Boston, where she took up residence with a scholar of Greek History, Julia Kappetelis, and her teen daughter Vanessa. In less than 10 issues, Mr. Perez became the double-duty man on the book with Wein’s exit. It was very blatantly a feminist statement. Standards of beauty, notions of the nature of feminine culture, even MENOPAUSE were topics in the title. Fans loved it, because it was so fresh and daring. Diana wouldn’t fight anyone without appealing to reason first, which I myself loved. His run lasted 62 issues, and he was joined by co-writer Mindy Newell 2/3 of the way through, and dropped the art chores around the same time and handed them to Chris Merrinan. The hindsight here, is that again, the book was more like a movie than most comics at the time. It was very real world despite it’s gods, monsters, villains, and fictional elements. Also, like a good movie, it had a beginning, a middle (I’d qualify the arc where ambassadors from “Patriarch’s World” came to Themiscryra and were terrorized by Eris, the goddess of strife as the median), and an end- where Diana shuts down the Wonder Woman Foundation she established, and flies off into the sunset with a full tote bag. Story told, done and done.
JOHN BYRNE TRIES TO SET IT RIGHT, AND NEARLY DOES
John Byrne came in on a mission. A few words about the man: he’s a one-man band. He does it all, the writing, the drawing, even the lettering in some cases. He’s a clean-up guy. He comes onto a book, and mostly ignores what came before, sticking to core content and putting it back to it’s elements and bringing back what’s classical and outstanding. His downside? He’s pretty “meh” as an actual script writer. I find that his dialogue is pretty lame, as a rule, and he takes fairly contrived and clunky means to get things back on their shelves. That said, he does get ultimate results. Here’s the laundry list:
Gateway City– She needed a home of her own since the get-go. Moulton wasn’t aware of her peer circumstances when he opted for D.C. as the locale. Gateway was a great analogy for San Francisco, which fits like a glove. It gives her distance from the obvious New York refs that Metropolis and Gotham are AND as a metaphor, SF would be a great environment for her with it’s liberal, free-spirited demeanor. This is crucial to her Trinity presence, shared with Batman and Superman.
Invisible Jet– He gave it plausibility. A gift from aliens, that can become the vehicle of her choosing. Also, it folds up into a little see-through pendant, so no obvious parking limitations. If the move were ever made to Amazon tech, the alien origin would be unnecessary.
Wonder Girl– Every good hero needs partners, and a camp. Cassie Sandsmark was a blast, she was fun, feisty, and age-appropriate. Donna Troy had become lost after the Crisis, and needed her WW connection. The route to her destination was needlessly busy, but he added her to the ‘family’ Wonder Woman team, and gave her back her role in the DCU.
A Place Among the Heroes– Darkseid was a great foil for her. His despising of her pointed out her peaceful, love-filled truth, and showed her as a force as potent as Superman. Having her up against pre-established DC villains like Morgan LeFey and Doomsday put her firmly in the Universe.
World War 2– Wonder Woman is a WW2 icon more than her peers. Her appearance and her activities against the Nazis at the time make it so. In the new DCU it’s irrelevant, but the intent was cool and the Justice Society needed her at their table. Again, the super-heroine in full effect.
PHIL JIMINEZ, THE LAST TRADITIONALIST
Phil, IMO, might have been the truest lover of Di’s. He took the whole mythology and tried to synch it together, with a lot of good results. Like Byrne, his contributions were discarded upon his exit from the book. I will concede that the last quarter was a tad self-indulgent with the story-line with every female DC character used in one issue, and the time trip with Villainy, Inc, the most stupidly titled enclave ever. Still, he tried to make the character linear, and came closer to a cohesive working version than any other bothered to attempt.
Paradise Found– He finally got Themiscyra back to being Paradise Island. It was a bumpy road, but the floating nation, with it’s magical violence clamp-down was amazing. The Oz-like enchantment factor drew ire from some camps who obviously didn’t know the roots. If they’d just given it time and showed how it would fit into the current mythos, they might well have grown to love it.
Sister Act– He took Byrne’s team ethic and ran with it. Many stories with the Wonder Girl, “Wonder Queen” and Troia posse present, and a dynamic therein that showcased each member. The roommate situation with Donna was great, and again, discarded without any reason or acknowledgement offered.
Back in the DC Game– The opening story with the Bat-Villains was obviously to draw in readers, but it was pretty damn good. It showcased both worlds and made them in the same Universe without crowding. Also, I loved the use of the Gods without them actually being physically present (more on that later).
GREG RUCKA- HERE WE GO AGAIN
Let me start by saying that Mr. Rucka is a DAMN good writer. He offered a Diana with a personality and scenario that was undoubtedly a matured sequel to Perez’s run. Many look at it as Diana’s finest hour, and if you read Perez and Rucka only, it’s pretty good, but as I’ll point out, it even contradicts his predecessor in grand fashion.
Where’d She Go?– Rucka’s run, sort of like Byrne’s, discards the in-betweens and attempts to tell a story that leaves a wide chasm of questions between his and the Post-Crisis genesis. Byrne, unlike Rucka, does acknowledge in cursory fashion what came before. Boston, her rift with the Amazons and her mother, and the Steve-Etta presence are part of his story. Rucka comes in with conceit. Where did that embassy come from? When did the Foundation HQ get built? Since when did she have a doorway to Themiscyra? No explanations given, and in the big picture that was needed.
The Foundation– As stated, his run was obviously a 5 or so year later extension of the GP era, which as also stated, ended with her dissolving the institution. She wanted to be an example in her autonomy, and didn’t want acolytes. Rucka’s story from the ground up was about an organization that had a closed door from early on, and again, with no explanation.
Who Are These People, and Where Did They Come From?– The Minotaur chef, Io the Amazon forger, and several other characters also spring from nowhere with no rhyme or reason.
Where Did Everybody Go?– No previous supporting cast at all. The Wonder Family, most notably.
WONDER WHEEL: DIANA IS THE HAMSTER
Now, here’s an inventory of the cyclical nature of the title. This is where the road from Perez, who wrapped it with a bow, leaving his writing descendants in the dark as to what to do with her lead:
Amazons at War– Perez brought in the Bana-Mighdall, and Messner-Loebs made them co-habitants with Hyppolyta’s tribe. WML’s arc made the group at large discordant and filled with drama. Byrne had Darkseid decimate the population. Luke had them fighting gods. Jiminez brought them to civil war, then decimated without a queen by Imperiex (ending on a rare positive note). Rucka smashed the new Island to pieces, then plopped them down on the shores of the Carolinas, and immediately attacked by their neighbors. The girls were pure militants at this point, unlike the way Jiminez left them. Amazons Attack was them versus our government, and later Gail Simone had a group of rebels bent on killing the royals.
Amazons Gone– Foisted to another dimension to create Diana Prince, Kung-Fu fighter even before Perez. Back to another plane by Messner-Loebs, off to limbo by Rucka. It happens again, to be seen shortly.
The Super-Villain Roller Coaster-Perez used some of them. Messner-Loebs neutered The Cheetah as a heavy, and focused on Circe. Byrne kept Cheetah as a victim not a villain, brought back Decay, and that’s it. Luke, no past villains from the canon, re-introducing Golden Aged Dr. Poison and creating Devastation (not used since). Jiminez used almost all of them. Rucka, none but a re-invigorated Cheetah. Heinburg brings them back as a group, leaves without establishing them. Picoult- none. Simone, even with the recent update and upgrade, it’s only Cheetah and Psycho without any of the more underused and exiting prospects like The Mask, Osira, Silver Swan, et al at her disposal. When you look at the JLA pantheon, rogues should be virtually omnipresent and explored.
Circe, the Leaning Post– Perez brought her in, and she’s an interesting foil. Messner-Loebs made her presence a background through most of his run. Jiminez made her the Big Bad. Heinberg made her the instigator, and the woman behind everything. Amazons Attack turned out to be all her doing. Circe is Wonder Woman’s Brainiac. She’s a big time threat to everyone, and should be used sparingly to keep her so. There’s no consistent Lex Luthor, and there needs to be. Someone consistently plotting and scheming who can’t be shrugged off. I vote for the Cheetah, whose staying power and presence in multi-media should make her be the one (for elaboration, see here).
Everybody’s a Damn “Visionary”– Perez, all from scratch. Messner-Loebs is cursed to find his own way. Byrne undoes WML. Luke discards Byrne. Jiminez drops Luke’s concepts. Simonson goes rogue. Rucka throws out everybody but Perez. Heinberg starts fresh. Simone changes the foundations. Picoult delivers the ultimate arrogance, and refuses to read any source material, because she’s so gifted and vision-driven, offering a disturbingly lukewarm take. All you get here is a muddied, contradicting book, with interpretations that do not jibe. By the time we got to the end, Hyppolyta, who was born an adult, who walked out of the ocean in the opening of Perez’s run, somehow had a grandmother at the end of the title, as a for instance.
Who IS this?– Back to the earlier complaint, no one knows. The last substantial origin story was in 1986. Batman: Year One is the same here, but Batman is an earth-level type. His story really doesn’t bear repeating, given it’s iconic status, and incorruptible mission statement. Fantastical characters need revision and semi-decade updates with ties to their present day interpretation. That’s why Superman gets that treatment, and his origin is easily as legendary as Bats’. Without this storytelling element, inconsistencies and contradictions abound.
The Warrior Path– Again, Perez unwittingly made it so, it wasn’t the impetus of the mission. By the Rucka end, she was re-imagined over and over as a sword and sorcery character, and not at all the peace-loving super-heroine. This is her disconnect in the Trinity and the League. The fantastical elements are vacant, and we have Lady Hercules in place. When in the group setting, she’s usually just a powerhouse combatant. Her intellect and know-how takes a backseat. She’s rarely seen in her company trying to be a peacemaker at all. The discarded pre-Crisis science-savvy lady fits the DCU much better, in my eyes, putting her in good company with Bats, as an alien from an advanced culture she fits with Superman, as the recipient of cultural arsenal, she’s there with Green Lantern. As a scientist, she should be beyond The Flash. The Universe is all about Science driven characters. Sword and sorcery doesn’t garner much of a choir- see: Warlord, and the cancelled Sword of Sorcery post New52 title.
THE NEW 52-FILLED WITH HOPE AND DISAPPOINTMENT
I’d like to go back to the start of this treatise now. Remember when I talked about fan anticipation? I wasn’t kidding. It was everywhere, the love was there and practically on fire. This was fueled by the announcement of the creative team. I had literally thought repeatedly that if I had my pick, I would go with Cliff Chiang. I got my wish. For the first time in decades, DC did something I truly wanted with this character and I was ecstatic. Now, there’s writer Brian Azzarello, a noted and pedigreed scribe whose work is always creative and groundbreaking who got the community and myself hoping against hope for a brand new day for the character we are all just itching to love. That was not the case, at all, for me and a large body of readers. Not one bit. The story was not just the same, but in many ways worse.
Amazon Assholes Exponentially– Not three issues in, we learn that the tribe are hateful, savage, and dislike the main character. Hyppolyta is a coward, a liar, and is lust driven, throwing out her original wisdom and convictions. She’s a traitor to the deity she owed her life to. Further, as in a thousand miles so, the Amazons are raping thugs that do not value human life, slaughtering their sexual conquests and throwing their infants into the ocean to drown. Great statement about womanhood growing in autonomic circumstances here. BACK TO THE DARK AGES. AGAIN.
About That Rape and Babies Jazz– Just what does Di know about reproduction? Apparently nothing at all. She was on an island with small children who had to grow up with her and packs of pregnant women, yet somehow didn’t piece anything together. A plot hole the size of the Grand Canyon. ABUSIVE TO INTENT, AND MYOPIC. AGAIN.
Amazons Gone– Also at it’s virtual inception as a title, we get the women turned into a feast of snakes, and the Queen is a statue. Poof. LAZY WRITING-AGAIN.
Hermes Is Just Hangin’, and the Rest– Perez already did this. Hermes came to Earth, hung with Di, was dissected to show the nature of godhood, and ended up dead. This brings up a bone with me about the Pantheon- what is faith? I’d say it’s believing in something you can’t prove. If you could pal around or sit and talk to God/Jesus/Mohammed, would that be faith? For me, it would not. As cast members, they are castrated. The presence should be felt and referenced, not seen. Furthermore, with intact Amazons, and a Man’s World cast, this makes three, then add on the JLA and such. Too scattering, and again, not really necessary. DONE BETTER BEFORE, AGAIN.
A New Cast That Eats the Title– A new character that’s vastly uninformed as such is immediately thrust into a circle. Zola is there before she is, and then the cast is mounting by the fourth issue. This book is not Wonder Woman, it’s a team book better called “God Force”. The nature of the new cast keeps her from developing and informing her present day surroundings and totally contradicts her outside appearances. WEAK. AGAIN.
Once More, Who Is This?– No origin telling. We are given nothing. She wakes up in London with no back-story. The Amazon mythos are not explored to explain the mission. JLA gives us the info that Steve Trevor was there, but she wasn’t into him, so why did she come and stick around? Just to get off that caustic island? Adrift and pointless once more. This was the chance to clean up a serious mess, and it was fumbled to a spectacular degree. Dan DiDio said he didn’t want to re-invent the wheel, and go back to established territory. What territory is THAT? The last offering, nigh-three decades ago bears no resemblance to this person. Diana’s peers get opposite treatment in this regard, and everyone acts like it’s a failing on the character’s part. Diane Nelson claims they just don’t know how to take such a jigsaw puzzle and adapt it to film. Here was your chance, you signed off on it, it’s all on you, lady, and your selected team. FAIL, AGAIN.
The Tradition Trampled– Along with the obscene and ghastly nature of the Amazons, we find out that Diana is Zeus’ bastard child. The clay thing was hokey in it’s inception. The Silver Age discarded it and gave her a dead dad who perished with all the other Amazon men in war. Gail Simone used the clay baby and got rid of the Golem-ish nature of the aspect with the spilling of the Queen’s blood to connect her as kin. Simple, and derides the disconnect inherent to the character. Moreover, Cassie Sandsmark was already done as his abandoned offspring, so this actually sort of reduces Di. Not to mention, now she’s literally Hercules-Woman. LAZY AGAIN.
A HORROR Book?– I’ll directly address the writer here. Who asked you for this, Brian? Seriously? If I want a horror book, I will buy one. I want a hero book like this one is supposed to be. Throwing a character like this into a different genre to avoid dealing with the subject at hand is lame. On top of that, I am OVER the Vertigo-izing of DC proper. I love(d) both, and want(ed) different things from each. This universe is too crowded as it is, and there’s little space being given to new and exciting prospects. I realize some of this is from a background in hard, edgy fare, but real Creatives can move to other genres and adapt. This is a creator adapting a character to them, so the comfort zone doesn’t get breeched. A few writers have done WW horror stories, and they were great. Changing the entire milieu of the character’s book to avoid stretching your wings is wretchedly weak. LAZY AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Another Damnable Visionary– Following the horrific example of Jodi Picoult, BA only got some cursory knowledge of the story and decided he knew what was best. Done with no examination (obviously) of what might be repetitious, or defeat the essence of the character. No one is so damned good that they can pick up an icon without scrutinizing and objectifying what came before. LAZY LAZY LAZY AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
Cliff Chiang is a Pro, Yet No Control– Jim Lee created the horrific costume from the J. Michael Straczynski run, and it was loathed by the masses. For ridiculous numbers-driven reasons, he got to re-outfit a majority of the DCU, to gross effect (rant in full HERE). Busy, ugly suits abound. Naturally, he got to re-design WW’s dud of duds. A muted, washed out black, red, and silver number with unnecessary line-work. A functionless piece with an ornamental armband and choker set that repeats the chest emblem which now looks like so much bling. This was preceded by a signed-off look that involved black pants and friggin’ KNEE PADS. Cliff’s art is corrupted by it’s presence. His stuff is simple and elegant and he would’ve been a more than plausible designer for the look. Darwyn Cooke, in his legendary New Frontier, came up with a brilliant tweak of the original visual, and it was lauded greatly. Then dumped TWICE for a busy, excessive, and trendy Lee design. NOTHING LEARNED. AGAIN!
CAN THIS MESS BE FIXED, AND HOW?? THE ‘NO’ SIDE
Yes, it can, and no, it likely won’t. Won’t, because the damage is done. Maybe in 5 years, maybe in a decade, but not now. Decisions are being made by folks who do not care about and likely don’t even dig comics. All of the trickle-down from the Warner parent company has been part of a licensing plan for other ventures. It’s numbers on paper. They’re looking at bumps by Marvel, DC, and Image from the ’90s and deciding on what we comic readers want, with no knowledge of the fact that those that built it turned against it. I, for one, never wanted Vertigo to move into the DCU and bring the horror fringe. I loved both, separately but equally. I don’t want a damn Wonder Woman horror book, I want a book about a super-heroine, the grandmother of them all. Instead, I got a book I can’t stand to read anymore. I gave it several chances, too. I’ve tried her also in JLA, and it’s more been-there-done-that post 80’s drivel, where she’s a warrior who has no problem killing. She’s dating Superman now, too. Great. There goes autonomy and a sense of her own personal space in the DCU. It just seems to get worse.
THE YES SIDE
Maybe, just maybe, the writing on the wall will make new things happen. That’s a reference to the fact the New 52 started with a bang, and is now just so-so in the overall comic sales mix. Maybe that (literal) Pandora’s Box will entrap the evil it unleashed (still sounds metaphoric, no?) and a new day will happen. Maybe an apology/amends with Nelson and whatever subordinate(s) that doesn’t get fired nodding to the fact that they did a rush job that ignored the wants and needs of their fans. Admitting too, that the ploy to gain new readership was done lousily. Warner Brothers is a BIG company, and if they really want this sector to become the post-Harry Potter tentpole, perhaps they could take a month’s loss and produce no books in the mainstream center, to allow time for some creativity to blossom. Then, return with a month of very inexpensive debuts, which would lose more on the upfront. I think that would be preferable to a bump followed by a downward spiral. Make a statement about fan love, dependence, and respect for material and they could actually achieve a win. Now, about the character at hand:
Origin Crucial– I think I’ve made my point here. I’m nodding to it again, just in case it hasn’t sunk in yet. You have to have a foundation if you want character success in any arena.
The ‘Bible”– This concept worked well for Batman for years. Make a book that is a composite, yet absolute treatise on WW. Origin notes, ideology and ethics code, situational reactions, powers and weapons set, general state of day-to-day affairs, casts, and all other relevancies should be there and be distributed to ALL DC editors and any writer who plans on using the character.
All-Star Superman: The Lessons of Grant Morrison– It is no secret the regard that the company, the fans, and the critics have for Grant. He’s earned it all, too. All-Star did the unthinkable. It took the most ludicrous aspects of the character and spun gold from them. It not only sold well, it got adapted to other media, increased love for the property with not a trace of disrespect for his relevant history, and has made scads of required comics-reading material lists as a genuine classic. Same but even more with Batman. 75 years of history umbrellaed in a little under a decade, with the silly made sublime. Awesome. Taking it and X-Men, you can see an expansion of the magic: he obviously thought of the end, worked backwards and came to the beginning. THAT’S what a visionary does. That’s how you take the old, make the new, and without corruption, deviation, or avoidance of what some would consider flaws. It is alchemy, and it is high art. Noteworthy too, is that in the last two mainstream endeavors, GM left the door open for his replacing writer. Unlike Perez who left the room with the lights off, Morrison left it open, kept the lights on, and gently escorted them into the room. He gave them a soft platform in a shiny new playroom, so they could add on whatever they liked and not stumble in the dark and trip on furniture. Wonder Woman, in other analogy, should be like Star Trek. You take the fantastical and make it a statement about the human condition. The root essence is about womanhood, love, and peace. This should be reflected in the content without having to be literal in the message. She shouldn’t be fighting terrorists, she should be fighting menaces that imply terrorism. The metaphorical approach is also high art. Art is what we want, and it’s what keeps us coming. It challenges us, and keeps us engaged. Fads pass quickly, fashion is eternal. Art is fashion. This is probably the most important message I can deliver. If you happen to be from Creative, read again until you eat, sleep, and breathe it. SIDENOTE: Morrison’s “Wonder Woman: The Trial of Diana Prince” is in the works. The preview images are already worrying me. There’s Di in Themiscyra, in chains surrounded by an unhappy mob. As an upside, there’s an image of a re-fattened tough looking Etta Candy, so hope springs eternal.
Strife is for Bad Guys, Diana Brings Hope– Diana’s picture so far may sound too rosy. That’s why consistently good foils must be delivered to give the schism. Great conflict that challenges her mind and ethics is what we need to see. Problem solving when her peers go up against foes like Luthor, the Joker, and such show how our heroes can’t just bump them off. They have to think on their toes, and often face their demons. That’s epic-making stuff.
Keep it DCU, Just Don’t Lose the Flavor– Acknowledge the nature of the super-hero, once again. In the DCU, it’s largely sci-fi, tech, and future driven. Take my earlier statement about peer analogies with the recognition that she doesn’t have to be a distaff version of any. The mission and the mindset of the character sets her apart in application, so her identity isn’t lost. Also, don’t let lazy-assed writers make her ‘Superman-Woman’. All that super-strength and flying make her fall into the category too easily. Writers in the past have alluded to her being able to communicate with animal life, exhibit a hypnotic direct eye-gase that’s impossible to resist, etc. Capitalize more on other skills.
Go to the Source, Not the Median– This is a re-iteration. Keep the original concept relevant as the propellor of the platform. Stop drawing the boundary at Perez. This has stunted the growth for too long. I think his work is great, but it’s not the only great. Look at what’s in between, and what came first. Batman and Superman have had amazing updates at the same time that Perez did his thing. Yet, I love Geoff Johns’ Superman take as well, and all of the above are directly related to the first origin telling. With WW, some was there, but a lot wasn’t. Some of that was fundamental to the character at large, just not the Perez version. Look at it as one solid chunk, and then cull the good stuff.
Lastly, If You Hire a Great Artist, Let Him/Her Do the Job– Let creative, again, be creative. Trust the appointee to come up with the look, or choose the look that suits their style. Why not multiple looks? If they’re succinct with the character, they should be recognizable to the approacher. Simpler artists, once more, make better designers that any other sketcher can pick up and follow with minimum distortion.
ONE LAST THOUGHT: VOTE!
If you are dissatisfied as a consumer (and from what I’m reading/seeing many of you are), don’t just abort, WRITE. You as a buyer are a commodity and a voter. Fire off an email with a clear subject line. It just might get read, and if enough folks do it, a change might occur. Grousing with the peanut gallery can only do so much good.
Keeping comics classic but updating them for today’s folk is no mean feat. Some concepts we turn a blind eye to, and overlook their obvious silliness. A lot of my peers were upset by the loss of Superman’s “over-undies”, but I wasn’t really. I like nostalgia as much as the next guy, but I am fully aware that with new readers, especially the young’ns, the notion of an over-the-top flashy, archaic wrestling suit with a cape isn’t really a draw. What bothers me is when creators don’t even try to modernize a concept because they cop to it’s silliness when it can be overcome with creativity. Costumes have to be rethreaded, but updating concepts is a different animal. One character that multiple creators have had a lot of trouble with is Wonder Woman, not to mention her environment, cast, and ideology. I often see that solutions are pretty simple, really, if dismissal of the outdated is replaced with objectivity. I’m NOT a comics writer by any stretch, and I don’t have all the answers. I buy my books with the understanding that the weight of that burden should be shouldered by paid professionals. So, I’m going to address an issue I have with the treatment of a vital cast member: The Cheetah.
Right out of the gate, I’m gonna say it. I love the Cheetah. I also HATE that Barbara Minerva.
Let me start with that first disclaimer. The Cheetah is, or at least is supposed to be, Wonder Woman’s number one arch-enemy. How do I know? Simple. Aside from Giganta, Dr. Psycho, and Dr. Poison, she survived the “paradise through bondage” start up era of WW. In Challenge of the Super-Friends, Superman runs at Luthor, Green Lantern at Sinestro, The Flash at Captain Cold, and Diana at The Cheetah (the glaring omission is Batman at the Joker, who wasn’t in the Legion of Doom, to which I say- WTF??). On the Secret Origins of The Super-Villains oversized classic, there it is again, this time with Mr. J. in his appropriate place. In so much other media, there she is. Yes, that’s my standard. According to DC, the aim is for 45 year olds, and I’m nearly there, so it’s valid. A large part of my contempt here is about laziness when it comes to classic properties, and the myopic views of the parenting comic company, which in this case is DC Comics.
“My” Cheetah was Priscilla Rich, a debutante turned psycho. A jealous, spoiled American princess with a split personality who had a hard-on for our girl. She was pretty much a terrorist, who started making chaos at social events where the Amazon was present. She proved to be a menace to her, though her power set was never really addressed and seemed kinda flimsy coming up against a being who could lift a car, and had an arsenal of magic and tech-based weapons (this WAS the bygone era, remember). She was always batting back and forth between ‘Prissy’ and her catty alter-ego, and was a prime candidate for the toga-clad therapists at Transformation Island. She ended up in the rogues clan known as “Villainy, Inc”- real clever there, Dr. Moulton. She went away during the dreadful romance era of the title, and came back in the early Silver Age, this time a straight up criminal terrorist. Then, she vanished again until ’77, where the book was now based in the 1940’s, due to the influence of the Lynda Carter series, and was pretty much a better written version of the germ character.
Around ’80, Priscilla kicked the bucket, and her environmentalist niece, Debbie Domaine was brainwashed by Kobra into the new incarnation. Debbie, too, was pals with Di and it just never came up that Prissy was her kin (she even said “I’m going to visit my Aunt Priscilla” to her, and the titular character never thought to say “surname, please?”).
Debbie became a spotted eco-terrorist, and popped up next in the JLA-JSA summer crossover (one of my favorite things about the season yearly) as a card-carrying member of The Secret Society of Supervillains.
Then once more Deb was in the WW book, in the god-awful “Wonder Etta” issue, then it was over, except for some cameos in Crisis on Infinite Earths, wherein Debbie and Priscilla were wiped out, maybe forever. In between all this, Priscilla was on the aforementioned cartoon series, and much later made a comeback on the Brave and the Bold ‘toon, where thru a mystic device that’s actually a nod to Ms. Minerva, pretty much hands Superman his ass. There was also a version of the Cheetah on “Justice League Unlimited”, with an un-named scientist alter ego who looked like a hybrid of Priss and Babs.
When Alex Ross did the amazing “Justice” mini-series he revamped Priscilla’s powers to be derived from the goddess Hecate, and she gutted a live cheetah, and skinned it’s hide to wear, and showed just how scary she could be. She nearly kills Themiscyra’s favorite daughter with poison-tipped claws turning her back into Amazon beach-clay.
Barbara Minerva was introduced as The Cheetah shortly after the Crisis. Right off the bat, I ask “why?”. No other major character was revamped intrinsically, they were just updated. Priscilla got the total axe. Minerva is an archeologist who kills a cheetah that is the avatar of the god “Urtzkartaga”, and is worshipped by a lone African tribe. Strangely, the clan she just pissed off gives her a magic plant that helps her channel their god, and go all were-cat.
Then as a parting gift, they give her a ‘little person” name of Chuma to be her attache.
Upon finding out about Diana, she decides she wants her magic lasso, and lures the heroine into her confidence to snag her rope. She accidentally touches the thing and is compelled to blab that she’s there to steal it. WW walks away sore, so Dr. M decides to cheetah-out and kill her to get the prize, and a new nemesis is born. They wind up crossing paths throughout the Perez run, and she gets her ass soundly kicked on a trip to Egypt, then drops off the scene for a while. Along the route, Circe (arguably the most overplayed would-be usurper to the arch nemesis crown), makes it so that the lady can just lap up a drop of blood when she wants to get catty rather than dancing nekkid in front of a houseplant. When we see her next, she’s in a posse of mercenary bad girls, hired to bump off the princess. She winds up being a turncoat, and secretly sets her free when she gets captured. For the rest of the William Messner-Loebs run, she’s shown the same way.
In the John Byrne run, where (bless his lil’ Canuck heart) he tries to get the title back to it’s roots as a super-hero book and away from all the sword ‘n’ sorcery, Diana literally goes to Hell to get Barb’s soul back from the demon Neron, who she sold it to. Phil Jiminez, in his run has her the victim of Sebastian Bellastros, a ruthless tycoon who steals Barbara’s mojo and becomes the new Cheetah. I personally was glad Phil nixed him before his run was over.
Barbara gets her cat-stuff back, and he’s gone, thankfully. Also, in Phil’s run, he has Hyppolyta, who is now the ‘40s WW, established to have fought Priscilla (who’s wearing the Cheetah garb, yet is only called by her given name). She’s referenced in a single panel, bringing her into the canon. A while later, Perez’s cat-lady is up to no good again, and gets a reboot from Alan Heinberg, who gives her back some of the old school Cheetah charm (once again Circe does all the magic), as a sassy human in a swank costume, no longer lame with a cane as she’d been before, and able to go catty on her own whim. The real upshot here is that it’s drawn by the Dodsons.
Then Alan, who can’t keep his commitment as usual, abandons ship without fleshing her out and the next time we see her, she’s a Tigra rip-off once more. Next up, the generally ingenious Greg Rucka puts her in a Flash crossover teamed up with Prof. Zoom, where she’s trying to get in on some Speed Force business. Priscilla Rich is back, as a frail faded movie star who BM rips to pieces in her bed, ‘coz Zoom gives her the notion she needs to be the only Cheetah, making it necessary to bump off an 80 year old, so no one else will get confused. Face-palm. From there, we see BM with the Injustice League, posed in an unholy trinity of leadership sandwiched between Luthor and the Joker. Her failings shine bright in this company. Put by a criminal scientist billionaire mastermind, and the creme de la creme of psychopaths, a fast lady with cat-fur is just the token gal.
We see her for a while always in the company of the other baddies, usually ‘the Society’. Gail Simone makes her the boss of the group, and WW shows up and tears the group and it’s headquarters to the ground. Next comes the New 52, where bad decisions are made on a minute-to-minute basis. In Justice League, here she comes again. This time, she’s a con-artist who buddied up to Diana just to screw her over. She’s established to have gone by the aliases of Barbara M. and Debbie D. both. They wind up in the jungle, where in a pretty boring story other folks, including Superman, get a turn at being Cheetah. Grrr! Now, she’s all up in the Society again.
So, what’s my beef with Barbara? Other than the needless replacement of Priscilla as the heavy, I think she is born out of pure laziness. Yes, I’m smack-talking Perez. I know he’s the venerated champion of Modern Age Wonder Woman, but he was not perfect, I hate to tell you. I don’t think he wanted to be bothered with trying to make Priscilla a modern day character, so he scrapped her and made someone new. Next, I think a Dr. Moreau-style catperson is just not that interesting as a foil for Diana. Yeah, she’s got professional pedigree, but it usually got lost in the shuffle when she travelled from book to book, and writer to writer. There’s only so much threat an unscrupulous collector of antiquities can do anyway. Her motivation for hating her enemy is kind of hollow in the long run. “I want your toy” was the impetus, and that’s not been referenced for ages. Give her a ball of yarn and make her scat, I say.
“But, Todd, Priscilla was just a spoiled rich chick in a rug. How can that be any better?”
Fair question. First, lets do a sidebar. Grant Morrison took THE stupidest era of Superman, the 1950s, and made it one of the crown jewels of DC history, but expanding the concepts in ways no one was genius enough to consider before. He did a Bizarro story that could make a grown man cry. He took all that over the top Super-science and spun gold. He took the hokey zoo of the Fortress and put out an amazing sci-fi experience, and he took the cliched “Lois gets super-powers” stunt and used it to propel the Lois and Clark relationship to an all time high. Silly, in the hands of the right alchemist, becomes the sublime. Same logic here. You take what you’ve got and work with it, and inject it with creativity. So, her given name is dumb? Make her self-aware along with everybody else. It’s one of those funny things that just happens sometime. There’s a young millionaire girl named “Prissy Rich” and the public thanks it’s funny and cute. Done. Despite what Diane Nelson, Dan DiDio, and Geoff Johns may have you believe, fun is allowed in comic books, that’s the whole point. The powers set? Well, if it could happen for Barbara, it could happen for her too. Pulling this out of my own personal ass, how about her dad killing the wild-cat, and the tribe cursing him through his daughter? That seems a hell of a lot more sensible than rewarding some lady-asshole for killing your diety to me. Couple that with the fact that Rich herself is already a perfect yang to Di’s yin. Prissy is a spoiled American princess, I mention again. She hates women, is jealous and narcissistic, and sees Wonder Woman as a threat to her own status. Take a woman like that and Cat-God her up, and I’d say she’s hyper qualified for the job. Need more motivation? OK, marinate in this: what if Diana’s mission, which was ORIGINALLY to come to America to save humanity from itself and propel us to a better, advanced culture was countered by a pissed off jungle god who wanted to rase the earth, wipe it clean of humanity, then give it over to the jungle, with his/herself in control. What if that same marriage of human and the profane-divine had an ass-load of capital to back up the mission?
“But, what about that dumb costume?”
Check these out: They’re designed by Scott Kowalchuk and Dennis Culver, in their awesome supervillainshowdown.com design competition (do yourself a favor and check them out-and the other stuff, full-sized at the site). Bliss. Turns the look on it’s ear and makes the whole thing more logical. The look is disturbing. It denotes the need to conceal her identity, makes her seem really spooky, and is undeniably savage and psychotic. What we get here is a number one foe who can actually be a recurring, threatening presence with her ID a mystery, her vast resources, and the tenacity and savage wisdom of a feral and primordial god. See how easy that was??
I’m tired of the baby being thrown out with the bath water when it comes to re-vamping inconvenient characters. It’s been proven not to be necessary. I’m not a comics writer, I don’t play one on TV, and look what I just did. It might not be bullet-proof, but at least I TRIED, for Hera’s sake. Stop the cycle of lameness, and keep legends as they should be kept. It’s hardly un-doable, especially when it’s your JOB to be creative, and it can lead to years of fun. Unleash the beast, DC!!
DON’T BE A CLOSET TIGER- COMMENT AND DISCUSS PLEASE- I LOVE FEEDBACK!
In Priscilla, Urzkartaga has found not only a powerfully connected body to share, but an avatar of power it had never known before. Any time someone buys a magazine with her face on the cover, downloads a video, or buys her fashions and make-up, Priscilla’s cult of personality works it’s way up to the Cheetah-God itself and increases it’s magic. This makes him even more empowered than Zeus himself at this stage of the game. Using her incredible speed, strength and weaponry in her first brutal attack on Wonder Woman, The Cheetah left the Amazing Amazon covered in deep wounds and breathless. The ancient siren-witch Circe decided to take her on for damaging her favorite ‘toy’ with a horde of her Beasteomorphs, who all threw themselves on their backs in total submission. The witch is now fairly terrified of her, and realizes she must help Diana any way she can in ridding the world of this creature.
Saving Wonder Woman 
